Five Reasons Why I Pray at Fixed Hours of the Day

Growing up a Baptist, I never even heard of the Fixed Hour Prayers, the Daily Office or Divine Office until I, like Paul, learned to put aside childish spiritual ways and be a man in my spiritual journey. In my spiritual tradition, spontaneous and heart felt prayers were what was admired. As a boy, I remember my father driving us home from church chiding a fellow deacon because he read his prayer during worship—an act that no one who walked closely with God should ever do. To my father and for me, it was unthinkable that saying a prayer would not be heart-felt, said at the moment and spontaneous.  God forbid! Growing up for many of us in our spiritual lives involves re-thinking or perhaps learning for the first time how important praying is a regular and consistent times of the day.In my long journey now of walking with God, there is no practice I enjoy more and no prayers I like to pray more than old prayers and in addition, in order to live with rhythm and to make space for God in my life, I practice Fixed Hour Prayers or Daily Office as much as I can. Let me explain. Here are five reasons why I do this and you might want to do it also:

1. Praying at a  regular times of the day is an ancient practice revealed in the Bible.

The prayer book for the early Christians was the Psalms. They prayed the Psalms and knew the psalms and shared the Psalms as their primary source of spiritual encouragement. The Psalmist said, “Seven times a day do I praise thee.” Psalm 119:164. Most pastor and missionaries that I work with rarely pray. Most do not pray with their spouses and few pray as a family. The same is true of marketplace leaders and small business folks. Who has time to pray once, much more SEVEN times a day? Most of us feel fortunate to say a quick prayer before we scarf down our corn flakes or power drink because we need to be on to the next thing.We are too busy to pray. Yet, praying at fixed times of the day is the primary way to call our attention back to God—to become aware and awaken to a different cadence of life than power, money and self-promotion.[tweetthis]Fixed hour prayers call busy and ordinary people to live in a daily rhythm of putting ourselves in the presence of God in a conscious and meaningful way.[/tweetthis]It's called Fixed hour prayers because our spiritual fathers and mothers chose regular and consistent times to come together, drop what they were doing and turn to God. There are several different versions of what times people actually practiced fixed hour prayers but in general, there is a morning time, a noon-time, an end of your work time and a before you go to sleep time.  Of course, people have added to these and subtracted from these.  Some times of prayers are strict such as in monastic communities. Some, like myself, find a more relaxed and less structured way to practice this ancient way of praying. We are much more tolerant and forgiving and we do it as we can and when we can. At our work of Potter's Inn, we do this on our Soul Care Days and in our retreats. Its often the highlight for many guests to first learn about this--then engage in the doing of Fixed Hour prayers. Yet to be honest, we are not all on the same page when it comes to this.  What I can tell you is that this one practice has brought my marriage more together. It has given Gwen and I something we do together which closes the gap between us. It is a simple, non-threatening way to share our hearts and some time.One man at our retreat pulled me aside to say, "You taught me about this years ago. I want you to know that fixed hour praying is the best thing that my wife and I have EVER done in our marriage. It's brought us together in a way I never thought possible."  I hear this alot as people engage in this practice. 

2. Praying at regular times of the day helps order my day; lessen the chaos and calls me back to what really matters in life.

Like you, I live a full life. My day is full of appointments, meetings and errands. Yet, when I know that my time of prayer is coming, I have the opportunity to stop what I am doing and this stopping is my primary way of structuring my life for what really counts. I stop. I pray. I reflect. I pause. Then I move back into my life. But the stopping and praying orders my internal chaos and loosens the chains I feel when I live by the tyranny of the urgent.  Gwen sets her time of prayers on her iphone. A bell rings and calls her to pause, pray and look up.  We need these reminders. I have some recommendations for you at the end of this blog.The famous painting by the French artist, Jean Francois Millet, “The Angelus” reveals a couple standing in the field, stopping to pray. They have evidently just heard the church bells sound out the chimes that everyone needs to stop. Everyone needs to pray. Everyone needs to lift up their eyes from the working world to their God and say a few words. I love this painting. But without church bells, we have nothing telling us to stop. We have nothing helping us live in rhythm. We have nothing telling us to live for something more than money. Praying at regular, fixed times of the day, gives internal order to a chaotic life.  The collapse of time, where everything is busy and everyone is over-committed is in my opinion the number one reason the wheels of the buses are flying off of our lives and we are collapsing in exhaustion and fatigue---with no time for God or being with God.

3. I pray the Fixed Hour Prayers because as I pray—I find myself in community.

For me, the most powerful motivation for praying a regular times of the days is this: When I pray at Fixed Hours, I am reminded that I am not alone. But how does this happen? It happens to me because I know that many of my friends across the world are practicing what I am practicing. I begin praying alone but somehow find myself in the midst and company of a holy few--a group of men and women, who like me, are doing what pilgrims have done for thousands of years.I have a close friend who lives in Africa. When I pray at regular times, I know that David is praying—or has already prayed the same and exact prayer I am about to say. I realize that my friend, Fil, who lives in North Carolina has prayed the prayer I am about to say—but he said it in his own time zone which is two hours before me. I also realize that my friend who lives in California will soon be opening up his prayer book and talking to God about the exact same thing I just told God. We come together in prayer and in the praying a gap of time and years is closed.It’s uncanny how this works—but it does work. I have the deepest sense of community by praying at regular times of the day and this mystery is deep, profound and comforting. Every time I pray like this, I am not alone.

4. I pray at fixed hours because it is easier than not praying at all.

In my work with leaders, you’d be surprised at how man times I hear pastors, missionaries and other Christian leaders who try to do it all well, confess that they rarely, if ever pray. Many will try to have a “quiet time” or will attempt to read the Bible for a few moments. But then an inner committee meeting begins in their heads telling them; shaming them; nagging them to do something more important. So prayer is dropped and their inner life runs a muck.Prayer is perhaps the greatest practice of the spiritual life that people struggle with. The disciples sure struggled with prayer.  Ignorant of how to do it, they pleaded with Jesus, "Teach us to pray."  That same plea, I think, is the private plea of most people I encounter--in the church! We just need help and cannot assume we actually know how to pray; when to pray and what to pray. Fixed hour prayer is a mentor to us.Let me be truthful, we often do not know what to pray or how we should pray. As a result of these two traps, we often do not pray at all. When we follow historic, ancient prayers, we don’t have to make up holy words or try to impress God. We simply say that is right there before our eyes and hearts. We enter a long-standing chorus of men and women who have gone before us that have discovered what I am discovering. Fixed hour prayers really work. Fixed hour prayers really help.

5. I pray at Fixed hours because Jesus prayed at Fixed hours and so did Paul and Peter and the early church.

A few years back, I wrote the book, “The Jesus Life.” The writing of this  book changed my life. I fell in love with Jesus all over again and I realized that Jesus’ ways of living were really pathways for me to live. The early followers of Jesus were not called Christians but followers of “the way.” We are told this five times in the book of Acts! I believe we modern folks, have lost our way. We’ve traded ancient and proven ways for modern day shortcuts to almost everything in life that is dear to us.Jesus prayed the Psalms. So, it’s this simple. If I want to be like Jesus, I need to pray the Psalms. Knowing that Jesus prayed at regular times of the day motivates me to want to do the same. When I realize that the early church did this, I want to follow in their way. The modern church has lost it's footing here. We have failed people by ignoring this ancient way of talking to God and being with God.Paul and Peter prayed at fixed hours ( Acts 3:2 and 10:9). It’s not odd or weird to realize that as the early followers of Jesus began to embrace and integrate their new way of living that they felt it important to pray at regular times of the day.When I realized this—I was greatly helped. When I read about Daniel who we’ve heard stories about in the lion’s den praying at Fixed hours, I was also encouraged (see Daniel 6:13).I’m afraid, we’ve thrown the baby out with the bath water. In our attempts to accomplish more and to live productive lives, we’ve abandoned ancient spiritual practices that offer us hope and a renewing of our inner life. Fixed hour prayers is one such practice that truly can revolutionize your life. I think you should join me and thousands of others in this practice and just see what you think. I'd like to know your thoughts---your resistance and your celebration of this way of praying! Here are some resources to help you begin or continue the practice of Fixed Hour Prayers. 

1. Explore a Community in Europe living by FIxed Hour prayers and join them with an APP!
2. Here's the OnLine Version I used every day- and multiple times and it has an APP also!
3. Here is the Daily Office produced by Phyliss Tickle and sits by our chairs in our home. We use this far, far more than any other version. It's easy to use and has an excellent Introduction to Fixed Hour Prayers we use at Potter's Inn.

5 Reasons I Still Struggle with Sabbath

Ever since I was a boy, I heard about the 10 Commandments.  Most of them made sense but one still messes with me until this very day. Here are five reasons I still struggle with Sabbath:

1. I still believe in the illusion that I don’t need to stop.

As a type “A” personality, I have to face it: Going is better than stopping. Doing more seems more doable than doing less. Pausing, stopping, ceasing and resting are not in my mother tongue’s vocabulary. I speak “Let’s get ‘ur done!” Since working hard was modeled for me as a boy by the men in my life, I absorbed an ethos that I now see, decades later, has wreaked havoc in my soul and done violence to my life by choosing to always to more—not less—at least one day a week. 

2. I sometimes do not believe in the sovereignty of God.

 When you stop for one day a week, we are given the opportunity to lean into the sovereignty of God. I take my hands off the plow, off the keyboard; off the gear-shift of my high octane life and let go of trying to control my life. Sabbath gives us one day a week to take the hands off of the control shift of our life and to surrender to the spiritual act of letting go. I have to face the fact that in my core, I want control more than I want to let go. To practice letting go—for one day a week—is perhaps an ultimate sign that you really do trust God more than you trust yourself. 

3. I don’t really believe in my well-being. I believe in my well doing more!

 Doing more always costs us. Always being “on” and always being “available” costs a person their well-being. When we are in our 20’s and 30’s we push and strive. We achieve and perform. In our 40’s we begin to question this credo—yet secretly because we don’t want to be labeled “normal” or average. If we do more, then perhaps we believe, we can finally arrive. But well-being is state of being that requires a day a week to cease; to enjoy—to delight in something other than work and performance. 

4. It’s easier to work than to rest.

 Keeping a day as a Sabbath is one of the 10 Commandments. God knew from the beginning that we would work, strive and live by the sweat of our brow. So when we practice Sabbath—we are practicing one of the oldest spiritual practices ever given and known to humanity. Just as we are told not to kill, steal and cheat on our spouses, we are told to rest one day a week. To choose to practice Sabbath is to intentionally chose to resist our culture. [tweetthis]Sabbath keeping, for me, is counter cultural as well as counter-intuitive.[/tweetthis] Sabbath keeping does not make sense to so many of us. As we lean into this ancient practice, we soon realize that God’s ways are truly not our ways. We would never cease; never stop; never Sabbath and that is our undoing. It has been my undoing in my life, my fathering and my being a husband. When I practice Sabbath, I am reminding myself “I do not want to be undone any more. “ Sabbath helps me really live. 

5. Money seems more powerful than trust.

 At the root of Sabbath is the power of mammon—money. God’s intent in helping us rest is to help us put money in perspective. Money is not really everything. Money does not define us when we are burned out and used up. The rival God of the 21^st century is money and Sabbath keeping deflates the over-inflated ego of the dollar—no matter what currency you use. When we Sabbath—note I uses this as a verb and not a noun—we live with bigger goals in mind and heart. Money intoxicates the soul. Sabbath puts everything into perspective. When we Sabbath, we live smaller lives and being small, one day a week is a very good thing for the soul.  For more help on Sabbath and living a rhythm of life that sustains you, and doesn't drain you, please get and read Chapter 5 of Inside Job: "Exposing the Lie of Being Balanced." Order the book here and get started!  Order Inside Job and the accompanying workbook here!

Learning to Live in Peace and at Peace

Blessed are the peacemakers: they shall be recognized as children of God.—Matthew 5:9 (New Jerusalem Bible)The long, arduous spiritual journey can be summed up this way: All of life—from beginning to end is to be marked by peace. Being at peace is truly a mark of authenticity for those that are on the journey to God. It has taken me many years, several positions in my work and some failed relationships to realize that peace and living at peace is our ultimate goal in life. Where there is no peace--there is no real life.As I look back on my life and through the decades of my journey, seeking peace was not on my list of priorities. I, like so many around me, sought power and control; affection and esteem and security and survival. Family, work and friendship became venues for me to seek what I thought I needed. I thought a position would give me peace. I now see that I was programmed by my culture to live a certain way and that by living in a certain way--I would eventually get what I was searching for in life. I was wrong. I though being liked and accepted would cultivate peace inside. I was wrong. I though finally arriving at a vocational position would offer me all that I really wanted. Again, I was wrong.In this beatitude--this statement of a healthy attitude about life, we again see Jesus defining for us the core truth we can embrace to bring us to experience peace.To think that the heart of God and the intentions of Jesus would be that I could experience peace—the great shalom of God—allows me to re-think everything in my life. That God would seriously desire for me to live at peace and to be at peace opens my heart to God in a deeper way.The Hebrew word for “shalom” means far more than mere peace. Shalom is about our well-being; a state of being that is not at struggle, conflict or discord with ourselves and with other people, institutions, systems or organizations.This kind of well being is cultivated in at least five main ways.

1. Peace with our past. As we mature, we realize that we have collected bruises, nicks and wounds and each one of these is a part of our story—our narrative. But experiencing peace means that we do not have to be defined by our past or be a victim of our past. Experiencing peace in our past requires knowing the true story of our formation; forgiving those who wronged us and gaining the insight and strength to overcome parts of our story that could have swamped us or sunk us.  As I work with people, I find that it is our past where most of us really need to do the work of being a peacemakers. Something has happened in our past that we seem to get over and we succumb to the power of a past that holds us in its grip rather than being transformed from our past.
2. Peace with our body. Our bodies are the address of our soul. To survive, forget ahead and compete, we may discover that we have abused our bodies—and may not have honored them. To have peace with our bodies is to accept our physical limitations; to accept our DNA and propensity towards certain physical challenges. To realize that we are what we eat and for the body to be at peace, the body needs the things that will nourish it—not harm it. To be a peace with one's body is to live the healing we so deeply need.  I am 18 months into a journey with this being core and central for me. My intentional work here is fascinating, motivating and filled with wonderful curiosity.
3. Peace in our minds. Our minds seem to be the place of perpetual committee meetings where we hear old voices telling us; shouting at us and sometimes condemning us. Learning how to quiet the mind is a spiritual exercise that nearly every religion on earth addresses. Jesus described an inner room where we can go to intentionally say “no” to the voices that never seem to leave us alone.   Voices that snarl their jeering, rejecting and condemning tones undermine our efforts to have inner peace. We learn, hopefully, how to shut the door to these voices and listen to the Voice that tells us who we really are and what our true identity is all about in life.  This particular area is key in the work of caring for someone's soul. If our minds are not at peace--then we are not at peace.
4. Peace in our relationships. The sum of all Christian Scripture is very clear here. We are to pursue peace in relationships. We are to engage in peaceful behaviors that move us from one position to another, more life-giving way to live. We move from competition to cooperation. We move from being divisive to be one that joins in the work and lives or others. We move from insisting on our own way and position to yielding to the perspective and insight of others. To move towards forgiveness--even when  we have in fact been wronged is at the core of being at peace.
5. Peace with God. All of life is about learning to live at peace with God. As we experience this peace—this marker of a true relationship with God—we realize that this key and most primary of all relationships is the one relationship that anchors all other relationships. To be at peace with God is to learn how to be at peace with others—even our enemies—even those who speak ill against us. To experience the peace of God on a daily--day to day basis is at the heart of a healthy relationship with God.

 It’s far easier to list these main areas where we need to experience peace than to actually foster peace in each one. Yet, this really is our journey.  Choose one of the above areas this coming week and see how by your attention and focus people, events and circumstances may come to mind that need your attention. In my most recent sabbatical, my attention was drawn to two particular people that I knew I needed to pursue; say some words that might bring healing and resolution. These people surfaced in my own heart after weeks and weeks of quiet, rest, pondering and wondering. During the closing days of my sabbatical, I went to each one and asked forgiveness--owned what I could and sought to bless them by telling them how important they were to me and how much I valued them. It helped. And to my great surprise, I believe they were helped by my peace-making actions.[tweetthis]Making peace and experiencing contentment in life is truly an Inside Job. Peace does not just happen.[/tweetthis] When we do our inner work, we are cultivating the peace we desire and want.When we live at peace and in peace—we discover who we really are. We gain a sense of our true identity as the children of God. Some people say, I have my mother’s eyes. Some say, you might look more like your father than your mother. To look like and to be a person of peace is to possess the highest hallmark of the spiritual life. For when we are at peace—we are truly in God’s presence.

Rest from your Labor this Labor Day

Dear Friends:For those of us living in the U.S., this weekend marks the Labor Day holiday. This holiday was initiated by workingmen during the height of the Industrial Revolution in the late 1800s.It was a time of incredible production in U.S. history when new technologies were transforming the nation:The national railroad network and then the automobile provided faster transportation.The invention of the telephone made communication faster.The introduction of the assembly line streamlined production.The light bulb made it possible for people to work longer hours.The result of the Industrial Revolution was a time of enormous material prosperity in the U.S.Yet, this prosperity came at a staggering price.At the time, it was not uncommon for the average American laborer to work 12-hour days and seven-day weeks. Children as young as five could be found toiling in mills and factories, working conditions were often extremely unsafe, and workers often had inadequate access to sanitation facilities, fresh air, or rest breaks.Finally, workers started standing up for themselves.They formed unions. Workers went on strike to pressure factory owners for better working conditions. Out of all this came changes like child labor laws, better working conditions, and shorter working hours. (And, of course, Labor Day!)Although we may feel far removed from the Industrial Revolution, perhaps we haven't made as much progress as we think. The technological revolution we're living in now pulls and pushes us in similar ways.In our "always-on" world where we are constantly available 24-hours a day via email and the internet, we have a hard time disconnecting from our work. We now live what I call "High Octane" lives.The result of the High Octane Life is that we easily lose touch with the people and priorities that are most important to us.Do you feel like you've lost your connection to God?How about your spouse, good friends, parents, or kids?Have you lost touch with a hobby or a passion that used to bring you joy?When was the last time you spent time in nature marveling at God's amazing creativity?It's time to take a stand for yourself.[tweetthis]For the sake of your soul. You need to take a holiday from technology. You need to disconnect from the wired life of always available and always on. [/tweetthis]And you need to re-connect. You need un-interupted time to connect with the people and passions that bring joy and meaning to your life.So here's my challenge for you this weekend is simple:Find a way to disconnect in order to re-connect.Here are a few ideas to get you started:Choose a day this weekend where all technology stays off. Go on a screen fast. Put away your phone, laptop, and TV.Turn off all push notifications on your phone. Or better yet, leave it on airplane mode or do not disturb when you're not using it.When you go out this weekend to spend time with family or friends, leave your phone at home. (For you parents who may need to have a phone in case the babysitter calls, leave it in your pocket or purse instead of having it out to check emails and updates.)Decide on a no phones or technology rule in the bedroom. Make your bedroom a sanctuary for sleeping and connecting intimately with your spouse.Pick a time each day to disconnect from technology. Intentionally choose a specific time to turn on and off the Internet each day. (For instance, maybe you don't connect to it until 9:00 am and turn it off at 8:00 pm.)Invite someone you love to join you for a day without devices and tell them why you're doing it.Just sit somewhere for a few hours. Get out into nature. Bring a journal and a pen. Consider what you need to disconnect from in your life in order to re-connect to the people and priorities that truly matter the most to you.Sit quietly with God for a few minutes in silence. Let his love for you wash over your soul.If you choose to accept my challenge, I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this email. Let me know how you are disconnecting from technology and how you are re-connecting.With you on the journey,Steve Smith   

Our Dilemma and God's Solution for our Lives

Our solution is life on God’s terms!Every day, I hear the complaints, laments and confessions of people who are tired, worn out and burned out. I am concerned because I hear these messages more than at any other time in my life and work. Being absorbed in the daily hassles of surviving; driven by the tyranny of the urgent and competing demands upon their time, energy and passion, life is demanding. Contentment feels as if it is life on another planet or perhaps only in eternity.We live frayed. We live fragmented. We live divided and we call this way of living the “abundant life.” Deep down, we know that any sense of abundance has eluded us and we resign to live our lives in a quiet resignation of desperation.[tweetthis]The solution to our dilemma is life on God’s terms. [/tweetthis]The fateful dilemma that we have found ourselves living in at this present time is assuaged when we realize that there really is another way of living and a solution offered to us. If we could live a life marked by robust sanity, we'd be crazy not to live our life in a way that promises us a true solution.The life of a person who is following Jesus is first of all a life! It is not ascribing to a doctrinal list of beliefs. Following Jesus is a new way of living—not just going to church; not just saying that we believe; not just adding Jesus into our already crowded lives. Jesus offers us a way of living that cultivates life—a life that is free from the brutal tyranny marked by exhaustion, speed and busyness.The Apostle Paul puts it this way, “In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all” (Romans 8:3 MSG). Our disordered mess is something Jesus came to address, rescue us from and offer us an alternative way that would be radically different from tending the grave clothes of our lives and calling that tending—life.In my work and every day in my work with people, I hear almost the exact same words that Paul again penned for us that describe so well, our every day lives:“I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?” (Romans 7:24).The solution is life on God’s terms.Life on God’s terms is marked by several characteristics, that if embraced and practiced —actually yield a life that is marked by peace from our inner angst; well-being rather than sub coming to the malaise of our current condition and a life that is satisfying and fulfilling. The life lived by Jesus, described by the writers of the New Testament and actually lived out by men and women in other generations can be ours today. Many of us are so absorbed and exhausted by our day-to-day lives that we have forgotten and possibly ignored the fact that there is a solution for us.To live this life—to attain this new life—we must wake up from the lull of our sleep and the numbness our current condition has resulted in and start to live in a whole new way. We can live oblivious to this way of life and daily choose to try to survive—rather than thrive.The life lived by Jesus and revealed in the Scriptures is marked by several important distinctions.

1. A life of rhythm. A life of rhythm is a life where we engage in our work and activities but then we dis-engage. We are not always on, available and obsessed with the doing of our lives. We discover a rhythm that is sustainable; a rhythm that fosters life within us not one that we endure with a slow, steady leak—draining us without any re-filling. Our obsession with work/life balance shows our predicament. We would rather try to “manage” our lives which few can do, to live in a rhythm where we are “on” then learn to truly “cease.” We see in Jesus’ own life a clear way of living that sustained and strengthened him to finish well—not burn out or give up or resign to a fate that was not his own choosing. Choose a daily and weekly rhythm. Choose to honor this rhythm and live in this rhythm for a month--a full 30 days and see what a difference you will experience.
2. A life with attention to the soul. Our interior life needs attention. Otherwise we will ignore the place where true life begins and emerges from—inside us. When we examine the life lived by Jesus and offered to us, we learn that Jesus used silence and solitude to foster the life within. He pulled away from noise, people and things and entered lonely places (Luke 5:16). There, in the quiet and stillness around him and within him, a deeper way of living is born—a life more meaningful than all of this hurried existence we experiences. Inner silence is that place where peace, contentment and satisfaction is cultivated. Without attention to our inner life—we will live obsessed with outer markers of success and live divided; rushed; and annihilating our souls. All spiritual writers agree on this one and fundamental point. Silence and solitude promote well being and without silence, it is virtually impossible to live the life Jesus came to offer us. A healthy life—a life that is living well—is a life that honors the interior life. What results is an active life—a life of giving out but a life also of intake, receiving and being. Practice 15 minutes of quiet every say and one hour of silence and solitude every week. Build this into your life. Turn off your technology and fast from being on and available.
3. A life of priority. Jesus made it clear—first things first. By this he raised our consciousness to live with a vertical perspective—a life continually focused with a Kingdom perspective. This is a perspective that we first establish in our lives—to live for what really matters. We then learn to re-focus and return to this way of seeing life as we lose focus, get consumed and need to return to our real and right priorities in life. We simply get back into the way of living with God as our solution and the ways of Jesus as our proven ways that nourish life. We can lose perspective and we can get off track—yet, we can also return and change our direction. We move away from “managing our lives” and spinning plates to a whole and other way of living. Wake up to the spiritual dimension of life and grow your soul by doing first things first!
4. A life of prayer. When we learn to live by prayer, we live in a deeper, more reflective and less reactionary way of living. A life of prayer is a life of going to our inner room—our hearts and learning to pray with words and without words. We experience the God who is truly with us in our day-to-day living and we turn often and quickly into a posture of prayer that becomes a place of life and encounter. So many of us struggle here. Having never been taught how to pray, we limp along. And implement new ways of being with God through prayer.
5. A life of living in a healthy way. True life is living with true health in mind. We honor our bodies. We rest them. We tend to them. We give the body what it needs to live and to live well. Since we are what we eat—we live with this in mind. We learn to make choices with our body that sustain us—rather than deplete us. We receive through good sleep, good movement and good nourishment. Since our bodies are the “temple” we live in a way that matters and does not abuse the physical address of our souls. Eat. Move. Sleep. These are the big three ways of honoring the physical dimension of our lives.
6. A life of forgiveness. We live making mistakes, messing up and stained by sin. The life of Jesus is a life of continual turning from the results of our failures with God, others and self and living clean. Forgiveness is at the core of the teachings of Jesus. We forgive our enemies. We forgive those who hurt and disappoint us and we learn that we can forgive ourselves. The journey towards forgiveness is a necessary pilgrimage to live a life of peace. There is no peace without forgiveness. We let go of hurts and failures. Sin is assuaged and we live without self condemnation that plagues so many of us. Sit quietly and see if your attention is drawn to someone you need to move towards and take the initiative to forgive today.
7. A life of serving others. The Dead Sea in the Middle East is dead because there is no outlet. The waters pour into this basin but there is no place for the sea to give out. A healthy life is a life of making outlets to give our lives to others and then we realize that this paradox happens. As we give—we are the ones who also receive. The hymn writer said, “Because I have been given much, I too, must give.” The life of Jesus is not an escape from human need and misery. It is a life of giving love, mercy and a simple cup of water to those in dire need. Choose to give to something to someone every day and certainly every week.

 Each of these seven distinctions require choices and action steps. We come to realize that this distinctive and living this way may not really be our normal way of living. But we can create a new normal—a life that is marked by these very normal and realistic, yet life altering ways of living. We sometimes live our lives on auto-pilot thinking that we do not have to give attention to some or all of these markers of true life. Yet, as we practice each marker—as we give each distinctive daily, weekly and monthly attention, we live our own healing and participate in our own transformation. As we live a whole “other” way—we discover that we are living a whole and other kind of life—a life marked by the ways of Jesus and a life sustained by God’s Spirit within us.What we need is a plan---a way to do this new life.  I believe that if practiced and embraced, these seven distinctives will yield the life we long for--the life we are attempting to live.  Take each of the seven distinctives and make a plan to begin to practice each one. These are not things to "add" to an already over committed life. The answer may well be to take away other things that over promise and under-deliver the life you want to live.For each distinctive, consider taking something out of your life and life style so that you can replace it with the markers that will sustain you and cultivate the life you long for right now.It's time to wake up and start living!     

Sabbatical: Going to the End of My Rope

“You’re blessed when you are at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”—Jesus in Matthew 5:3, MessageMost every person I know needs to dismantle their emotional programming for what it means to be happy in life. We are hard-wired to think that happiness and joy come by chasing the outer markers of success in life: a bigger house, a nicer car, a new toy. I explore this in Inside Job, my new book. We believe a lie and we make a vow that determines how we will live our life and try and try to be happy.Jesus turned this kind of thinking up on it’s head. To be happy—to be blessed—requires a total shift in our paradigm of how we view life. He offered us a paradigm shift in what is called the “Beatitudes.” These statements found in Matthew 5:3-14, are short, pithy and life-altering guidelines which help us not only dismantle our hard-wiring we’ve acquired through culture, church and family, but they help us really see how happiness is cultivated in our lives.In our Sabbatical, Gwen and I have come, face to face, with these statements--these beatitudes. Let me share one here: “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” The Message jolts us to our core and says it this way, “You’re blessed when you are at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”Blessing and happiness come by our emptying ourselves and having to rely on God in a complete and resolved kind of way. It’s when we are so vulnerable; so power-less; so weak and so empty that there is room for God to do his work. Our poverty is exchanged for his blessing. On our own, some of us try to out work and out wit God.We live as Parker Palmer has aptly coined it: functional atheism. We say believe in God and trust God, yet we live in a manic pace, stripping our souls and running our lives on empty. I had to come face-to-face with this humbling realization in our sabbatical--yet, again. We live as if our life, our work and our relationships are totally up to us. We, the, “functional atheist” of the 21st century, have soul work to do. We’d never admit it but we are more functional atheist than experiencing a faith with sustains, nurtures and shows us how to live with resilience . We live and function as if we are the ones having to push the proverbial boulder up another hill—yet again.Poverty in soul, for me meant that I had to accept let go of my grip on my work--and get out of its grip on me, my ministry and my staff. This acceptance--this consent is my daily work--my daily job. This letting go was a relinquishment of power and control. It required me confessing that I find my satisfaction in work--and not in God is not a good thing for me or anyone else around me. It is a shift towards poverty of soul for me. At times during sabbatical, I was anxious that Potter’s Inn might fail; fall apart or even die. We feel so fragile due to raising our support. Our helplessness actually fostered a deep sense of well-being---why? Because it meant letting go. Poverty of spirit meant a handing over to God all that I simply could not do and should not do.God works in us is to foster, nourish and grow a sense of contentment, inner-serenity and shalom that we live with the awareness that simply says this: No matter what my circumstances; no matter how hard this particular time is in my life; no matter how powerless I feel right now, 'All is well in my life and all will be well around me'. True contentment, my friends, is an Inside Job. In sabbatical, I left my work but I had to do my inside job.It is NOT up to me. I relinquish my efforts to be God—to be everywhere at once and to do multiple things that have stripped my soul bear and left me so empty inside. The great work of God is more than planting churches; more than sharing the Gospel; more than teaching. The great work awaiting each one of us the work of our inside job. God truly does desire our well-being. Sit with that thought for a moment and see where it might take you. What if you took a moment today and sat in your emptiness and weakness—feeling depleted and truly at the end of your rope and experienced the hands of God doing one thing: holding you. That’s it—just let yourself be held for a quiet moment. To sit, rather than DO something is an act of submission--and act of letting go--an act of well-being. Hey, I'm all for action, but even action must have it's seasons, right?In the beginning of our time “off” we felt like we truly were at the end of our rope. We were tired, worn out and experiencing some degree of burn out. So many years of pioneering and work had depleted us. A poverty within is what we had to face. As we faced our own spiritual poverty and admitted it and also confessed it—finally—we were brought low to a place of inner desperation and longing. “God, I don’t feel like I can go on. I can’t retire financially. But I’m at the end. Please God, do something. I let go now. It's time for you to do the thing that you must love to do--transform me and people like me."In that kind of confession, it seemed to have ushered us both into a journey of renewal.

Welcoming Myself Back to Work

Never have I found a more appropriate prayer for my first day back to work after a long sabbatical than the Welcome Prayer by Father Thomas Keating. At the first reading, you might be tempted to say, "What a nice prayer." And then move on. But Gwen and I have sat with this prayer on an intentional basis for the past few months. We have attempted to excavate the meaning and suck the marrow out of each phrase and sentence.It is rich. It is deep and it is transformational.Here it is:The Welcoming Prayer (by Father Thomas Keating)Welcome, welcome, welcome.I welcome everything that comes to me todaybecause I know it's for my healing.I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons,situations, and conditions.I let go of my desire for power and control.I let go of my desire for affection, esteem,approval and pleasure.I let go of my desire for survival and security.I let go of my desire to change any situation,condition, person or myself.I open to the love and presence of God andGod's action within. Amen.To Welcome this day, our first day back to work means to enter this with no regret, apprehension or fear. It, the first day, the first week and the first season is for me. It is for my good. It is not for my demise.For my healing... returning to my work is also a part of my healing and transformation as much as our season of rest has been. Now, I can live out of the fruit of what has been gathered. I can also begin to integrate these precious truths into my work--not just my time off.The Welcoming of all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations and conditions---means for me, that I believe in a God that is good and is not ought to bring me down or to step back and watch my life spin out of control. God is vested in the process of everyday encounters.I let go--much of my work over sabbatical has been right here. To learn how to let go and to release things, people, my past and my future into the hands of God. Knowing that I cannot control these things helps me to learn to loosen my grip. The three sentences in the prayer that speak of "letting go" really are the three temptations of Jesus: the temptation for power; the temptation for approval; the temptation for security. I, too, will work through these temptations as I work--and being tempted to lean into each of these areas to find love, approval and security. To let go--is my daily business.I open myself---believing in a God who is good and who loves me allows me to become open. I open myself to the love and goodness of God. It is my intention to live each day in this posture and I consent to my participation of the work of my transformation.I posted this book on Facebook recently and got many "likes." Now, I regret doing it. I don't think this prayer or perhaps any prayer can simply be liked. The Welcome Prayer undoes us. I truly believe that this prayer can't be just read and put down. It will mess with you. It has with me. And isn't this, perhaps, the greatest purpose of prayer?

Going Unplugged

For me to have a true time of sabbatical—a true time of ceasing from my work, it was necessary and mandatory that I abstain from social media during my season of rest, renewal and restoration. There is no way, that what has happened in me could have happen or would have happened if I would have stayed wired, on and available. You might think you are the exception and that you could rest and renew your heart by staying on and wired but that, my friends is an illusion that you are hooked into actually believing. In order for me, and perhaps you as well, to live sanely and with a sense of vitality and not mere survival, we need to discipline ourselves to go wireless in order that we can live in a robust, abundant kind of way. I had to do this. I needed to do this. Perhaps you do also.In today’s world, fasting from technology and dis-engaging from forms of social media are vitally important and needed. When we are so wired and insist that WiFI be omnipresent, we are submitting ourselves to a false and dangerous world. Let me be clear, I am an advocate for social media. I use it every day. However in my sabbatical, I unplugged and went off line for months and I believe in doing so, I created the space where I could cultivate my inner life; do more inside work so my outside job would go better and cultivated a sense of serenity and well-being that being wired seemed to rob me of in my life. Here are five reasons why:1. Social media nourishes illusions about life that are not true. The images we post ; the snippets of updates we read; the “trending” of our interests builds and re-enforces a false view of life. No picture reveals the whole story, does it? Behind every smile, there is something else we do not see but is as real as all the grins we are staring at online. There is something unsaid behind every post and every instagram photo. Photos don’t reveal our child who is ADD; our son who we caught on a porn site our aging parents feeling unwanted or perhaps unloved. Pictures of men don’t reveal their inner struggles. Pictures of a ladies night out don’t clue us in on one of them having a secret addiction. Images, themselves are not the whole truth.2. When we are always present to social media, we are not present to ourselves, our hearts and God. By skimming scores of quotes, posts and images, our minds are simply taking in what it seems everyone else is doing and everyone else is saying on a particular subject. We don’t take time to reflect, to become mindful of our own thoughts, feelings and convictions. We simply react and “like” things. We grow numb to ourselves—perhaps even numb to the promptings of God. Paralyzed in doing anything else other than hold our phones and go into a catatonic trance—we withdraw to live in a wifi world- a world that is void of human touch; eye contact and presence. We grow impatient in conversation privately insisting and demanding that someone we’re trying to talk to get to the point so we can move on to something else. We do not linger with deeper implications of thoughts and are void of the ability to reflect—that one important aspect in humanity that distinguishes us from my dog and the birds that feed at my feeder. To reflect is what makes us more god-like than perhaps any other quality or characteristic in life.3. Many forms of social media enable us live on the surface rather than moving deeper in our hearts. Social media has a way of enabling us to live at the edge of subjects by reading quotes or hearing a few sentences about a subject. We don’t have the time, we think and we don’t take the time, to reflect more about something. We don’t look at both sides of the argument because our hurriedness causes us to skim and not to process.4. Addiction to social media is as real as an addiction to porn or alcohol. It is as dangerous as a meth addiction. By taking regular times of fasting from social media, we can break and curb what we feel is our “need” of it. Turning your phone off during meal times; turning all forms of beeping, buzzing and vibrating off for two hours a day or going dark or off by 8pm at night creates the needed space for conversation and reflection. Many forms of social media are actually pain remedies. We do not want to be alone or feel alone so we “engage” with an illusionary world that enables us to escape from a world we are navigating. Try fasting from all technology for your Sabbath—a true day of ceasing, which is the literal meaning of to Sabbath—is to cease.5. Social media helps devalues human relationships. Sure, it’s great to get the birthday greetings and to quickly read the news of something you really do need and want to know. But, when we lean heavily into social media by picking up our iphone every 72 seconds to see if something new is posted—while we are having lunch, coffee or a meeting with another human being, we are saying: “My social media life is MORE important than you are.” It’s rude, insensitive and uncaring to use social media in a meeting, during a conversation or sharing a meal. I’ve gotten to the point of asking the person I’m meeting with if they would mind to turn off their phone so we can be focused, present and truly "with" each other in our time together. Social media fosters a culture of living in a true attention deficit world. Can you create a “No Wire Room” in your home or workspace where phones are not allowed?Here’s what helped me to unplug, go dark and get unwired. I asked one of my teammates to read all my emails and to decide what I really needed to know during my sabbatical. Yes, I did this. Do this for your vacation so you can really be “off” and not always checking. The checking is what gets us into trouble. What you think will be a 5 minute email results in getting pulled into so many issues, stories and crises. I put an “auto-responder” on my email telling anyone who needed me that I was off and my teammate would decide how to respond. I told my team that I was not to be called, emailed or texted by them during sabbatical; that if I was needed in case of death or the retreat center had burned down, that only one person was to get me the news. This helped to establish a boundary for them and a boundary for me. It gave me permission to go off the grid and in my going off the grid, I was able to find myself and come back with a greater sense of life inside me than I really knew was possible. We decided to not interact with our staff, Board, donors or anyone related to our work to really help me have the much needed space. It was hard. All have been gracious and kind and this one thing---protective of us during this time. They surely knew how much we needed it. Their silence was, in the end, love to us.Did I look at Facebook some? Sure. Going cold turkey was hard and it is in any form of withdrawal. It was hard for me to give up double stuff Oreos but when I chose to give up those edible demons, something better happened. My desires changed. I wanted to go off of social media; not just that I needed to go off social media and that is precisely the place where transformation happens—not in obeying the rules but by changing what you really want. When our grandson died, I wanted the world to know. When I read something that felt life altering, I did not want to withhold it. So I broke my own rules and posted a few things. But I did not look for responses of how many people liked it. (Well, I tried not to look.)

Read the Directions

 A few days into my Sabbatical I got the worst cold I have ever had. The physical aches, pains and down right misery that a bad cold makes you feel, were the obvious outlets for the long accumulated and residual stress stored in my hidden, way down deep soul place. I was living proof that we are all intricately woven together by our Creator…everything is connected. As awful as I felt, there was this companioning gratitude that sabbatical was giving me time and space, that is definitely not the norm, to be as sick as I was and take as long as I needed to heal. I had never experienced a holy misery like this before and wasn’t so sure how to navigate it.Nothing gave me the soothing care that you need when your head feels the size of a watermelon, like keeping a steaming hot mug of tea in my hands, holding it up close to my face and sipping now and then. I unwrapped what seemed to be the millionth teabag and couldn’t help but laugh at what I saw. The name of the tea was Breathe Deep and on the little white tag attached to the teabag were the words: “Socialize with compassion, kindness and grace.”I know it’s sounds superficial and silly but I didn’t dismissively roll my eyes for some reason. Instead I felt a tug, a curiosity to read it again. What if I actually did what it said? No one else was around so I couldn’t pass it off in jest with someone else. I took the challenge. First of all, “Breathe Deep” was the name of the tea so I stood there and took several long deep breaths. Breathing is obviously essential to life yet is so dismissed ,as if there is no worth paying it any attention. Our very breath can actually be a simple reminder of the gift of live we so take for granted. It can be the very thing within us that can remind us of the Spirit of God with in us. It was a powerful and comforting reminder for me that day. God is as close as my breath. He isn’t way out there waiting to be beckoned. Taking deep breaths can be a true spiritual exercise to help honor the God designed connection between our body and soul. It can be so revealing of the stress we kept pent up inside and it is the provision of something so simple to relieve the stress that is so damaging to our body and soul. It’s body care to breathe. It’s soul care to breathe.   Awareness of God isn’t as complicated as we make it sometimes. Deep breaths gave me a sacred awareness of God right there in the kitchen with me. His name, after all is Immanuel, God with us.The little tag read “socialize with compassion”. Compassion means ‘to suffer with’. God is Compassion. He knows suffering and is with us in our suffering. I want to socialize, to be in that kind of company. I want to be a person who suffers with others, to show up and tell them that I am sorry they are suffering whether I can help relieve their suffering or not. The tag also read “Socialize with kindness and grace”. God is always expressing his kindness to me. His amazing grace is, to me, more than just the words to a favorite hymn. He is kind to give me a life filled with so much that I am undeserving of. I was stirred by my desire to socialize, interact with and be acquainted with this unconditional grace and kindness. I want it to be more than my theology; I want to be kindness and grace with skin on.Surprised by an encounter with God through a teabag, as silly as that may be, is an encounter that continues to inspire me to breath in, to keep company with, to socialize with God’s compassion, kindness and grace. It always helps to read the directions and this is especially true when making tea and caring for one's soul. 

The Advantage of Leaving

In our thinking today, many of us have erroneously formed the idea that we must always be present, always be on and always be available. While machines, technology and wi-fi can perhaps deliver on those illusions, human beings cannot.Created in the image of God who ceased from work one, full day per week and did not engage in the business of creativity on that day off, we learn we all have an imprinted space in the human soul that is truly God-like. This realization can awaken to the fact that we are not machines. It is a saving epiphany that I needed in my life. It feels like another salvation to see life this way now. Like God, we can be off. And when we are off, we are more like God than than when we are on and engaged all the time. If we choose to work all the time we fashion ourselves to be MORE than God. Perhaps in our efforts, we secretly want to be God.Every single time we choose to dis-engage from our work, we honor this holy space within us and we honor ourselves as image bearers of the God who created us to NOT: always be on; always be available and always be doing something. We do not always have to and need to be available. In fact, when we embrace the realization to be off, away and can vacate our work spaces ---both inside our head and by withdrawing from our work, we become more like God than when we choose to work all the time.Americans embrace a false assumption that the hallmark of life in almost every form of work and life is to present to our work no matter what form our work takes us. Work then can become toxic because there is no margin. There are no limits. Life becomes sick because we need time off and away to do what the Quakers said, “to come down where we OUGHT to be.” The Quakers continue their manifesto in song by saying, “THEN (and only then) we will leave in a valley of peace and delight.” Where there is no stopping of work, there is no peace and delight. Whatever peace there is--always grows thin until we live like God intended.This has been my major neurosis that I have had to face in my personality and the wake of how that kind of lifestyle washes over family, friends, colleagues, church and the workplace. It is now the leading neurosis that I face in my work with leaders across the world and who plow the fields in business or ministry. Sadly, there is absolutely no difference in the malaise in the souls of leaders no matter where they work.Believing that our value, esteem and merit comes through work sets us up for implosions resulting in inner addiction and outer chaos. While celebrated for all of our efforts, most people like me face inner demons which haunts us saying, “You’ve not done enough. “ “Do something spectacular.” “Do something to prove yourself.” This kind of jeering is, in fact the exact same kind of mental anguish that faced Jesus in the Temptation. He, like we are still tempted to prove ourselves, seek security and grasp and hoard power. Goodness! Will we ever learn?Our sabbatical was a planned method for me to practice detachment. It was a prescribed rhythm for me to let go. In fact my own spiritual director told me, "Steve, your sabbatical is the time for you to practice retiring." I found that so interesting to be told this and I practiced my sabbatical in way I have found most working men and women never will and never do. I needed to let go of my work in order to be gripped by something even bigger than my work. And herein lies the dilemma: most people do not know that there is anything bigger in the world or universe than their work and their accomplishments. Time off always shows you the bigger story and the larger picture we live in, friends.Believing and living in this illusions sets us up to believe three lies:1. To be present is always better than being absent. Every caring person I know struggles here. We feel the need to always return every call; every email; visit the needy and care for everyone at the expense of ourselves. We will care—but we will not be "care-ful" with ourselves. Having no self-compassion, we implode and we implode because caring is a needed and necessary exchange. When we care for others, we must REALLY embrace how to care for ourselves. Sabbatical, vacation and time off is a needed and necessary exhange. When we do it, we always feel better and then start giving back in a healthy cycle not a sick neurosis.2. We adopt the belief that our own value is based on our efforts. We feel the need to always be on; always be checking if we are needed. Trust in others is eroded and a false sense of self-importance lies rooted deep in the soul. We think that action is better than reflection. We believe that outer deeds are more honoring than self-compassion. We hold to the notion that we are celebrated when we are human doings, not human beings.3. We foster a conviction that says to be present and available is always better than not being available. The 24/7 value of being “on” makes those of us who want to be off—feel guilty and feel blankets in shame, blame and guilt.Sabbatical was a season of de-bunking these lies; practicing how to withdraw and start living a life that was more life-giving than life draining. Most of all Sabbatical was my intentional CHOICE to heed the very words of Jesus when he said, “It is to your ADVANTAGE that I go away.” (John 16:7,13). He knew that if he were to go away, then a Greater Power would come upon his followers and in his movement. It was necessary that he go away and it was even more, to the advantage of everyone that he go away.The advantage followers get when the leader goes away is of inestimable value and worth. Again, when a leader goes away, it calls for a different and necessary season. In my case, it called my staff up and they have excelled in their work and in every single area of my work, everything has grown, improved and is in fact more stable. It is remarkable. Sabbatical is the season of practicing a much needed withdrawal and detachment that brings life; fillets fear open by making you face the question, “What are you really afraid of that keeps you staying engaged?” I'm so impressed with our staff. It is truly remarkable the empowerment they have all experienced. It's humbling and helps me realize my small place in the world rather than foster another illusion that I have to be on to make this work--to make everything work. Sabbatical,vacation and time off is empowering.So dear friends and readers, by choosing your vacation and planning to dis-engage, you will be more like God than by choosing to remain, staying engaged. By taking a sort of sabbatical from your iphone, Facebook and social media, you can fast from such a state of being wired to being really on with yourself and your family. It really is not that hard to practice being God-like. But it really does take courage to make this choice. For me, it came down to this: Do I have the courage to take time off that I know will be good for me? I answered this question with “Yes.” How will you answer the question?