Soul Care requires a long, careful, and wise look at our capacity. The myth says, “Capacity doesn’t matter. Just keep going full steam and in fifth gear!” The lie says, “You don’t matter.”
When we are not aware of our capacity, then we neglect our whole life. We forfeit our soul. We breathlessly run our lives on empty.
Read moreLater on in the life of the Apostle Paul, we find him at a crossroads in his work. Faced with an open door of opportunity, that God himself had opened for Paul to walk through, we see Paul saying “NO.” He writes that he would not walk through an open door of opportunity; he said “no” to the opportunity.
Read moreIt's the morning after a blizzard here in Colorado. It’s winter... not spring; not summer and not the time to do the things one does in the long day’s of summer.
So many of us simply will not embrace the ecclesiastical seasons of our lives. We are told plainly that, "There is a season for everything"...a time for this and a time for that...( Ecc. 3:1)But, many us are still trying to do everything at the same time--and I mean everything now. This leaves us breathless. This leaves us empty. This leaves us exhausted. We simply can't do everything now.
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We live in a violent world. We live in a hostile environment. We live in a rapidly changing culture. Civility has eroded. We are all busy. Some of us are hanging by a thread. Others are at the end of their rope. Some are new to the spiritual journey and filled with unbridled passion. Others are tired, worn out and burned out on religion. Few are resilient. Few, it seems would say, “The abundant life is not the exhausted life.”
As a whole, we need help. Many of us turn to our churches to find some kind of solace. Whether our churches use the word “sanctuary” or not, the simple truth is every soul needs some kind of sanctuary in the crazy world we live in today. We need a place where we can gather or wits, collect our thoughts, sing a few songs and hear something that might inspire us. We’re just made to need that. It’s okay to offer a sanctuary in today’s world.My intent here is to awaken you a bit to the life of a pastor—the life of anyone who is in ministry these days. My intent here is to ask you to express some kindness, some gratitude for them this particular Thanksgiving and Advent season. Pastors are people too!
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How can I know God's will?This question is one that most lovers of God wrestle with intensely throughout their lives. Most lovers of God would say, “If I only knew what God’s will really was—I would do it!” No one really wants to NOT do God’s will. There really is a more foundational issue at stake here. It is this—how does a person come to know God’s will?Knowing God’s will is the journey of discernment. We want to discern—we want to see more clearly. We want to see with a a greater light and know with a great sense of certainty that the path, we are going to choose to walk, is the one God wants me to walk.This simple, brief, yet eloquent prayer attributed to SAINT RICHARD, BISHOP OF CHICHESTER, written in the 13th century expresses our need to clearly:
Dear Lord of Thee, three things I pray,
To see Thee more clearly,
Love Thee more dearly,
follow Thee more nearly,
Day by Day.
To See Thee More Clearly....isn't this what we want. To see...to know...to love doing what is right? To Know is to ListenKnowing God’s will implies obedience. We will obey if we know. The word in English for “obedience” is rooted in the Latin word "oboedire", which means “to hear.” Obedience is about first listening; then knowing; then responding. First, we listen.Knowing what decision we need to make about something in the future is our invitation to listen. If we act or decide before we listen, we may regret what we have decided because perhaps we did not first hear—we did not listen.We live in a noisy world and what’s more, there’s even more noise inside our own heads and hearts. There are many voices shouting at us ‘to do this’ or ‘to do that.’ We have an inner sense of “should” whispering to us most of the times about whatever it is that we are facing:“I should return that call.”“I should return that email.“I should go to that meeting.”“ I should rest.”“I should call in sick.” Our Minds are Full of Clutter. But do all the “shoulds” we hear, define the right action step for us? Our minds are filled with so much clutter…that we simply cannot hear until we rid our minds and hearts of the clutter.Listening requires a clearing of the mind. We can’t hear or take in something else when our minds are too crowded. A friend told me recently, “Steve, it’s like I have a committee meeting going on in my head nearly all the time. One voice says, “this way" and another voice says, “Don’t do that or you’ll really regret it.” Day of DiscernmentOur ministry, Potter's Inn, is in a season of discernment. We are trying to see into the future and what steps we should take together. We decided to spend a day together called a “Day of Discernment.” We all felt like it would be very good to spend a day together--to pray--to talk--and to make a plan.The day did not go as any one on our Board expected. Our Board is comprised mostly of business executives and spouses shaped by decades of experience in decision making and management skills. Nothing ---nothing we did in this day of discernment met their or my expectations.We were guided in this day by a Benedictine Monk who was seasoned in age and experience for our day together. We made a good decision here. We decided that we needed some guidance because much is at stake. We wanted pure wisdom. So, we met with a Monk to be our guide for the day. I knew this monk well as this monk is my own spiritual director that I have met with for years.We gathered around a lit candle, not a Powerpoint presentation. We began in silence. We needed to listen--she explained. She told us, “We can’t possibly begin trying to decide the future for your ministry until we FIRST, and she emphasized the word “First” clear our hearts and minds of all of our distractions." She, then, asked us to write down on small rocks she had placed in a basket, all the things we came to the meeting feeling bothered by; preoccupied with or having anxiety because of something going on in our private lives.We stared at a basket of rocks and a Sharpie. It was not corporate. It was not business. It was not technologically sophisticated. It was more "other-worldly" than anything I could have imagined. It was glorious.We obliged her requests. I found myself immediately concerned for our Board members who had taken time off and away to be with us to make decisions. What would they be thinking? Would they be thinking, “Steve this is a waste of time. Let’s get down to business. “I felt antsy. I felt conflicted. I could not listen well—I could not listen because my mind and heart were so cluttered.That exercise took nearly three hours to complete. Yet, we yielded to the process outlined for us—a process not based on excellency, efficiency or ego. Each of us had come with significant issues we were holding in our hearts. One couple wrote on one rock, “our house”—they shared that they needed their house to sell here so they could move there. Another wrote the names of their teenage sons. Each of us shared about our rocks—our burdens—our preoccupations and we listened. We asked clarifying questions guided by the monk to help us more fully understand the burden each of us had been carrying.After our first three hour session, we took a break and had lunch. Lunch was simple “monk food.” Again, nothing to rave about. Simple. Simple, Simple. During the lunch, I could not help but ask some of our Board members, what they were thinking. Each one shared that they too had wondered at first if this was a waste of time or “Couldn’t we move this along a bit more quickly.” But we listened.We took a time of silence to sit with ourselves to see the clutter; feel the distractions and sense the inner urgency rather than ignore it. We listened to the voice of our culture shouting “Efficiency! Excellence and Performance.” We choose to march to the beat of a different drummer. We chose to listen.After lunch, we came back and within 45 minutes had the entire future of our ministry displayed on a white board with action steps and a timeline. We sat in amazement at how this could have happened. Several of us shook our heads in disbelief that in 45 minutes, we had stumbled into a path that was filled with clarity, light and affirmation.Our culture is all about action. We want to get down to business quickly and not waste anyone’s time. But being so action focused cuts off the ears of our hearts to listen to what really may be more pressing; more important and more of God.As a Team, we choose to have some time of silence at the beginning of every staff meeting. Rather than doing a devotional, Bible Study or even prayer, we are learning the value of listening together and listening for the Voice of Creation calling to us for our attention and focus.A family, we mentor and who has a large family of nine children from 5-18, begins the dinner meal with a collective silence. A time of being quiet together. A time of detoxing from the events, chores and issues of the day to segway into a time of sharing a meal—which is more than just eating food. They begin by listening.In our marriage, listening is becoming the most important gift we offer each other. Both of us both want and need to be listened to deeply—not just hearing the facts or the events but listening for deeper indicators of one another’s soul and well being. When we listen, we are listening for what is not being said as much as we are listening for what is being said. We are listening to the pauses; the spaces between sentences and the signs. All of these are as loud as the words we use. For Gwen to really listen well to me and I to her, we both need to focus; be present and not distracted and be willing to keep our mouths closed.Perhaps this is why the Apostle James reminds us: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).When we are seeking to figure out God’s will—the first step is learning to listen deeply not just for God’s voice but for all the clutter inside that may be drowning out the Voice.
The holidays and life itself have been great reminders for Gwen and me about the need for soul care. It has been a lot—perhaps too much. Busyness. Full schedules. Sickness. Exhaustion in the midst of joyous times of family gatherings.In the midst of all of the busyness, how are we to care for our souls? For us, we were with all of our kids and their kids. We traveled to some while others came to us. Travel brings its own stress these days dosen't it? There were meals to prepare; presents to open; and hanging out with one another. It was full. It was sweet and it was a rich time. But we came away exhausted. We need to re-coup! I need to find “my” life that I seemed to have lost in a busy family time. But what if there’s no time to re-coup? That’s a problem!During December, Gwen and I barely had time for a conversation between ourselves—much less pray or take some moments for ourselves. I have some regrets. I didn’t read like I wanted. I wasn’t able to reflect back and forward into the New Year like I wanted. We were cramming in time and the gift of being present with each other. Much of the past few weeks feels like a blurr—not a blessing. I’m not complaining mind you, but trying to present some reality that stands in the face of caring for my soul. 0ther things happened which complicated our lives and health.A 24 hour “violent”—(is that the right word?) spread through our family while together. We watched our grandchildren drop like flies leaving us to meditate upon “We’re next!” more than God. Both Gwen and I got sick—something we did not want or invite. Interruptions happen—those events that face us that we do not want to face. Life is too full for the unexpected to drop in on us and mess up our already overly-crowded lives. When there is no space or margin in our lives, interruptions can send us spiraling. How will we ever be able to recover when we have to just buck up and move on and through? The unplanned things of life happen simply happen whether we are ready for them or not.When we think of our every day lives, we are busy, checking our lists and moving through our days. Diapers to change. Dishes to wash. Bills to pay. Groceries to be bought. Meals to prepare. There’s always more—always!In our work with people of all ages and in all seasons of life—one of the biggest pushbacks we hear is this: “I don’t have time to care for my soul. How can I fit THAT in upon every thing else I have to do?”Caring for your soul is learning to live with eternity in mind and in the heart. It requires a paradigm shift of how we look at our hours, days, weeks and years. Living with eternity in mind is at the heart of Jesus’ message: “Seek first the Kingdom of God” (Matt. 6:33). It is at the core of Paul’s epistles: “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Col. 3:2). While it is true that God has indeed set eternity in our hearts (Ecc. 3:11)—our minds are filled with the tyranny of the urgent and this is where the wheels of the bus come off in regard to caring for our souls. So, soul care is learning how to maintain eternity in the midst of our crowded lives!Caring for our souls is a daily practice that keeps first things first. A mindless wandering through our days leads most of us to enter the hamster wheel where we simply spin and spin. Soul Care requires an intentional exit from the dizzying spinning and speed of life and to live with eternity in both of our minds and hearts.Annie Dillard reminds us so well that “how we live our days is how we live our lives.” Days upon days of survival foster a survival culture at home and in work. So, if we want to live better days and more full-filling weeks, we must make the choice every day to live with eternity in our hearts. The abundant life is a daily life which begins every day. Every day we have the opportunity to live with eternity in mind and heart.Here are five choices to cultivate eternity in your heart:
Choose to live slow one day a week. For one day a week, make a choice to resist speed. The cult of speed has infected most everything we do. For one day—life more intentionally; live more from the heart—where eternity is rooted. Walk rather than drive. Park further away from your destination to make you walk just a bit. Cook a slow meal, not "fast food" on this day-- involving family and friends. Savor the time with music, story or read a chapter out of a book together. Some might call this a Sabbath but moving slow is more than taking a day off. Moving slow sets the culture of your heart to wake up. By eradicating hurry from your life, I believe you’ll find greater joy than ever before. After you’ve made this choice and lived slow for one day a week, take some time and see if you’re inner contentment meter has moved in one direction or the other. Is there more inner peace? Why or why not?
2. Choose to live with your soul and the soul of other people in mind—not moving into robot mode to produce, accomplish and succeed. Living with the soul in mind is keeping eternity alive rather than going into a catatonic trance of survival. To live with the soul in mind and heart is to foster dignity for others and yourself. If you’re exhausted—rest. If you’re sick—ask yourself “Do I really have to push through not feeling well?” Living with the soul in mind is living with your own sense of well-being and the well-being of others. Being present and not preoccupied with technology in conversation is one way to live with the soul in mind. Leaving our stresses of work outside the home—sort of detoxing a bit before we enter the doors of home can help.
Choose to be healthy. This daily choice requires us to monitor three vital areas of our daily lives: sleeping, eating and moving. It’s really not that complicated. These three areas: sleeping well, eating healthy and moving more all work together to help us become more healthy. Healthy living requires this trinity of a way of looking at our lives and giving our bodies what our bodies need to be healthy.
Choose to have silence every day for 10 minutes. The only antidote there is to our busy lives and busy minds is being quiet. Sit BY yourself and WITH yourself every day for 10 minutes. Consent to the presence of God within you and around you. There is nothing to do but to be still. The only way for a shaken jar full of mud and water to settle is stillness.
5. Choose to read only the “red” letters of Jesus. Rather than trying and trying to read the Bible through in a year—try something more realistic and doable. At the most stressful times of my life, I make a choice to read only the words of Jesus. I have found a comfort, peace and hope in his words that really help me focus and give me hope. Sometimes, it’s the simple things we do that can move us forward when we’re stuck. For me, finding a “red letter edition” of the Bible and focusing on what Jesus actually said helps. Start with Matthew 5—where Jesus begins his infamous “sermon on the mount." Read it in a new version or translation that gives you the space to be offered new expressions and intent.
“At once, this same Spirit pushed Jesus out into the wild. For forty wilderness days and nights he was tested by Satan. Wild animals were his companions, and angels took care of him.”—Mark 1:12How is it that in one single verse, Mark explains the journey of the spiritual life? It’s fascinating to simply sit with this solitary verse recorded in Mark’s Gospel and to sense the movement, undertaking and activity that Jesus experienced. Friends, in this one, single verse, there is a great movement that needs to be understood. I say “movement” because the spiritual life is a journey from one movement or place in life to the next. We never stay static. We are invited to always to learning; always be growing and always being transformed.First, let’s recall the context of Mark’s powerful singular verse. This verse comes immediately after the wonderful story of Jesus' baptism and being told that Jesus was the “beloved of God.” That moment in the life of Jesus, and in the life of all of us who follow Jesus, is crucial and essential. We all need to hear those same words for ourselves. Each of us needs to know that we, too, are the Beloved of God. I have come to understand that,in this historical event in the life of Jesus—the entire trajectory of his life shifted. Nothing was the same for Jesus when he heard these words—and nothing for us can stay the same when we hear these same words for ourselves. Prior to this, Jesus made furniture. After this event, Jesus made people. He freed people caught up in their own web of religion and offered them freedom. He compelled people to leave their boats, their careers, their people groups and their tribes to enter a new phase—a new place and to have a new understanding of God in their lives. This was his mission. Through his teaching and his life, he offered a different way; a different truth and a different life. This is still true today.The Journey of Discovering Who We Really AreThat’s what happens when any of us hear our true identity from God about who we really are. God told Jesus who he was. Today, that same Voice tells us our true identity—that we, too, are the beloved of God. Until we know this for ourselves, we will live into the lies of life that try to convince of us three lies:
These three lies form a web of sorts, that catches and snares every person on the spiritual journey of life. By attaching our hearts to just one of those lies means that we will discover the sticky residue that each of those lies manifest in the human heart. Those lies accumulate untruth within us. These lies do great harm to our hearts. We will lean into our doing. We will acquire too much stuff and positions to prove we are really somebody. We will be co-dependent about our reasons of living is for what you will think of me.God knows that there must be a powerful force to help us get free from such lies. These lies have wedged their way into me. They are in my story and I believe they are in your story as well. This web seems to be able to catch us off guard and in times when we thought we were “done” or “through” with that lesson or insight. For some of us, we keep on returning to re-learn the deeper truths of these same, timeless truths.Rather than beat ourselves up that we feel remedial or stupid or forever broken, we can also learn to be gentle with ourselves. Being gentle in how we learn lessons in the spiritual life is key. There's been too much harshness imported in our teaching; too many loud voices screaming at us; too much information and too little love.What’s interesting here, is to note that the three temptations that Jesus faced in the wilderness are actually, the three temptations that Satan confronted him with. These temptations were about his identity, power and to do spectacular things in life that would hinge to his mission. But there’s more to this story.Does God push, force and drive us?Mark’s verse here tells us that the same Spirit that rested on the physical body of Jesus was now not resting but actually: “pushing,” “forcing” and “drove” Jesus out into the wilderness. Read the verse again before you move on. We move too quickly sometimes in reading the Scriptures that we miss important insights that could actually help, free or heal us. As you read the verse again note that these are the literal translations in the ESV, Message and Amplified versions of this verse. Jesus was pushed. He was forced. He was driven.Jesus was pushed. Jesus was forced and Jesus was driven by God’s Spirit. We may feel initially uneasy about the descriptor words about the power of the Spirit that Mark is offering us. We may prefer a softer, more gentle—way of the Spirit. But Mark uses real, tangible and powerful words to show us how God operates. When I look at my own story; listen to hundreds of stories of modern day followers and read the ancient accounts of men and women, who through the centuries gave a written witness to their own spiritual journey here’s what I’ve discovered.There are times in our lives when we simply feel compelled, duty-bound, coerced, pressed or even forced to do something. This “feeling” that I want to attempt to describe is a sort of inner mandate that we simply “have to move,” “have to head in a whole other direction, have to step out in faith that somehow we just “know” what we have to do. I “ought” to do something and I know it and I cannot NOT do this thing that I feel so ought-driven to do.We have to simply go. We sense we have to leave. We must make a break.My Own Journey of Being PushedI have experienced several of these kinds of defining moments in my life. Allow me to share five of these times of feeling what Jesus must have felt:
As you read my own accounts here, though brief and succinct, I wonder what may rise up with in you about having a similar sense of being “pushed” out to a whole new terrain—a brand new landscape that had your name on it and you did what we all have to do when this comes, we get up and enter this new place---that we don’t even know the real name of yet.The Wilderness We All Must Enter in LifeThis brings me to Mark’s words again of this place where Jesus was pushed to go. It’s called—wilderness. I once heard Eugene Peterson, Dallas Willard and Richard Foster state in unison and with one voice that “wilderness” is the predominate metaphor of the spiritual life. I remember a visceral reaction when what these three spiritual magnates were really telling me. I didn't like this lesson and what's more I resented them saying such a thing. But in time, I have come to agree. I believe what they shared is really true. I, along with each one of you, would need to embrace the idea and concept of wilderness to understand the spiritual journey. We would need to go into wilderness and let wilderness do what wilderness does to the soul.In wilderness, we are stripped down. We have to face our illusions that we may have long held to be true and right. We have to let the long days and lonely nights of wilderness begin to de-construct belief systems, rigid box like thinking and false narratives that we have clung to—thinking them to be really true—only to have our boxes fall apart. Things fall apart in the wilderness. Perhaps this is their God intended purpose.. We let go of things, hard-held beliefs and even convictions handed down to us by parents, political parties and denominations. We are stripped. We have to come to terms with a whole other reality that we discover and are, in fact, discovered by in wilderness times.Ask someone what they learned after their spouse died and a wilderness happened? Ask a corporate woman what they experienced after being fired from a highly esteemed job—a wilderness. Ask anyone who has failed at something they really wanted to accomplish in life. Ask anyone who has divorced a spouse having clung for so long that divorce would never be an option. Ask anyone who has lost a child. Ask anyone who as trekked into a wilderness uninvited, unwelcomed and unwanted. Ask anyone who has transitioned to another country and had to endure that long, lonely season of having no friend, no family; no church, no community and who has left all the food, people and place that comfort gives. We don't have to look far around or far within to find that wilderness is actually everywhere. As Paul says, we are always carrying the death of Jesus within us--even while we are living. Strange isn't it? Not really. Let me explain a bit more.Jesus was driven into a wilderness. And from this verse if we say we want to be followers of Jesus, we must embrace our own sense of being driven into wilderness times where we give up security, all that we know to be true and enter a deep, dark time of testing. It is the way of God for such times. Jesus could avoid it and never can we. We can’t go around a wilderness. WE can’t go over a wilderness. We can’t go under a wilderness. We all, just like Jesus, have to go through a wilderness.The movement of the spiritual life is moving and living; then moving into a wilderness--then emerging into a sort of "promised land". This is the classical understanding of the spiritual life and it is really hinted at, if not explained here by Mark.Facing the Wild Animals WithinMark reminds us that the first things to show up in Jesus’ wilderness times were the wild animals. I recently read a study showing that in 1st century Israel there really were no really “wild” animals. There were no loose and wild lions seeking to devour people. There were no bears. So what kind of “wild”animals was Mark referring to that confronted Jesus? A wild dog? Maybe. A herd of wild boars? Maybe. I’m not sure actually.But what I know is this. The wild animals that always seem to assault me are the inner ones. Voices of shame. Lamenting voices speaking about my failures. Wild voices that are self-condemning and always self-critiquing. They are always trying to literally pull me apart from the inside. It is these voices that always seem to show up for the hundreds of people I listen to when they are alone, hungry, afraid and tired from the journey of life. These wild voices seem to fall into one of three categories jeering us about what we have done; what we really want in life; and what will really satisfy us in life. Right here, in one of these three wild voices, we will be confronted with what we truly believe and about what is really true.It’s in these dark wilderness times that we make inner resolves about how we will stand in the face of such wild voices. This is what Jesus did. He resolved in each jeering taunt the truth that he knew and the truth that would compel him forward and out of the wilderness.In the contemplative life, we are offered a beautiful lesson. Those who want to live a life marked by inner peace and a sense of shalom are not immediately granted the fruits. It takes time---and I read this week a year of learning to transition is not too long to think about when we are leaving one place on our journey and entering a new one. I can tell you that in my own journey and understanding, I have had to embrace the fact that my journey is taking a whole lot longer than I thought and even wanted. I must simply walk through some wildernesses to understand some of the fruit of the life I am hoping to cultivate. It takes time.Finally, Mark reminds us that after—and only after, he had gone into the wilderness and faced the wild beasts and even Satan himself—that Jesus would find comfort. Comfort comes--that is the good news for us. But it is in the wilderness that we find the comfort we actually want.Friends, these are important words that can encourage us right now in whatever desert we are living in or through. There is comfort. Mark tells us that the “angels attended him.” Other translations tell us that Jesus was cared for. Jesus was "ministered to"…that the angels "continually ministered to Jesus." Think about this. Comfort came and does come to us as well.As we move through our own wilderness times, there comes a sense that we are not alone; that we are not forsaken; that we are not in this by ourselves. We get to experience—and yes, the word I’m saying here is “experience” the loving comfort of the love of God. Perhaps this is what Paul had in mind when he says he literally “prayed” that we would experience a sense deep within us of God’s love. This kind of comfort, Paul explains “surpasses our understanding” (Ephesians 3:19). This is the kind of individual and personal ministry that God is about. This kind of beautiful, specific and unique comfort is what really defines the heart of God. It is the kind of love that we, my dear brothers and sisters are invited to taste as the beloved children of God. This is the kind of love and experience that actually defines the kind of God we love and serve today.At Potter’s Inn, Gwen and I have walked with many people who come to us in their defined time of wilderness. They are tired, worn out and beaten up by many things in life—including religion. But what we are witnesses to, is this: As they walk through their wilderness times---wilderness of their own vocational journey; wilderness times of feeling like mis-fits in church; wilderness times of being so worn down that they feel ‘dead on arrival’—that comfort comes. Peace is fostered. Inner contentment is realized. It’s uncanny and it’s true.I hope that this may encourage you in what ever circumstance you find yourselves in and that when you feel that are you are being ushered out and into a wilderness that you may remember Mark’s powerful, singular verse and may this one verse bring great hope to us all in a time of political, relational, ecclesiastical, vocational, or physical wilderness that we will have to walk through.If you’re in a wilderness defined by disease or diagnosis: take heed.If you are in a vocational wilderness and are living in the land of in-between, take heed.If you are a liminal space—a space of wilderness defined by geography, emotion or relationship, or even a spiritual wilderness-- take heed.There is movement. Trust the movement. Trust that comfort is on His way!
There is more to life than gaining; than the amassing of things; of collecting the sentimental stuff of our lives. There is clutter around us and clutter within our souls. The four quadrants of our hearts seems so filled that some days we cannot breathe or at least breathe easy.We collect our degrees and proudly hang them on our walls not thinking the paper with our names inscribed will one day burn. We amass our pedigrees of knowledge yet to realize that our brain cells are dying and cannot be sustained in the long haul of life. Some of us have collected trophies, people, wealth and experiences. It is in these deeply held things that have filled our hearts that we must practice the sacred art of surrender. To let go and to learn to let go is a necessary passage. As we age in life, we find that every day it seems we must pass through that narrow gate. It really is narrow you know and thinking like this may show you how narrow it really is. Try as you might to deny this and it will not serve you well.Our clothes and our children; our homes and our desks; our influence and impact will one day need to be examined. While some things are easy to lay down of in life, others we find, deeply rooted in our souls. We are enmeshed in our roles; tangled in our souls and we can’t find an ending because there have been far too many beginnings for some of us. What lies within is what is the hardest to surrender. It is within, in the secret places of our fourth quadrant where so much stuff lies. Jesus said so and I believe him on this.Just like the octopus whose arms clutch, grab, hoard and cling, the soul –every soul will learn—whether invited or jarred—to learn the sacred art of surrender. We simply cannot hold onto all our treasures. The news so tragic this week has a lesson for us all. Those who went only to worship did not know this week that they would sing no more on this earth. Those that went to dance to music did not know they would never take another step on this earth. Crisis and tragedy stand daily in our faces to help us awaken, though we so often seem to sleep through so much of this needed lesson.When I held my first born son—then my second, third and fourth—I did not know then what I know now. I will have to let them go—let them find their own way in this path of cul-de-sacs, dead ends, vistas and the grandeur of the adventure. I will lay down my voice in their lives and their voice will be their own. I am seeing it now as I see the sun rise and set every morning. Aren’t you?Some of us have had to let go far too early—too soon in our own estimation of how life should work. An untimely ending—a divorce—a tragic and quick illness or a long, slow good by to our loved one with dementia. We learn in such times that nothing—absolutely nothing on this planet we call home, is forever. Such good-byes prepare us and teach us about all that is important that we never want to let go of in this dear, fragile life of ours.Work, for many of us, is that place where we find our identity. Yet, when the lay off comes, the business closes its doors or we age "out", we awaken that our identity is really not in our labor at all—though we hear the daily chanting that “we ARE what we do.” Hopefully, we awaken to the lie that this worldly proverb has teased us into believing. Yet our work, is for some of us,that great battle ground where the inner civil wars rumble through the night in our souls. The cannon balls hurl such lies at us in the dark hours. We may succeed in a nightly skirmish in thinking we see the way forward now, only to be enveloped in a great cloud of unknowing and feel so terribly lost. To let go is a process, isn't it? It takes time--perhaps even a life time or more until we know what we could not learn earlier in our lives.One day, each of us will lay down our breath. We will surrender the breath that keeps us alive. Our breath will stop and this life will be over---this life of amassing; this life of feeling so important—so needed—so valuable. Every time we let go of a small thing in life—give away a box of old clothes, sort through the shelves of our closets or reassess who our real friends are—we are practicing for this final surrender and laying down of our sacred breath within. And with this practice, we find that fear is assuaged and angst is cured. As we practice our letting go, we practice our new beginning--a new beginning that is lighter, more free and one that is truly life indeed.There is a time for keeping and there is a time of giving it away. There is a time for the harvest, but there is in a healthy rhythm a time of embracing the fall of our lives. I have found this true in my marriage; in my fathering and in my work. Try as I may to sustain a springtime of something—it simply cannot work. And it was not suppose to work. It is a fabricated and American lie to believe otherwise. Other people who are more tied to the land and nature have learned what we still need to know. There is a rhythm to everything and everything that is truly alive lives in a rhythm.Our body holds the stress of all our years. Every wrinkle is a folding of our skin that simply needs to droop now. If you are smiling as you read this, then you already know this deep lesson. If you are angry because I have said this, then a lesson is just ahead to be learned for you. All will learn this lesson one way or the other. Some now and some later but no one will escape the lesson of letting go. What was once vibrant, strong and full of vigor will give way to a new season—a new opportunity to awaken to what is happening in me, to me and through me now. This, I think is wisdom.Wisdom is an essential element of surrender. It is ignorance and foolishness to believe otherwise. We are told in the ancient text to “Teach us to number our days…” because it is in numbering our days that we realize how precious life really is and not the things we have brought along with us. It is just smart to know that we are but dust and to the dust we will all return. It is not depressing to face such a fact. It is our invitation to relish in every breath we have—while we have breath. To view life this way helps us live in the present and not just hoping for a better day ahead.In this deep interior space of letting go, something else happens. Freedom. Interior and soulful freedom. There is an emancipation which we feel rising up within us that we may one day soon, be truly "free at last" and this freedom is now, so oddly different than we ever first imagined. It is the liberty within to not have to be so responsible; so on time; so efficient; so exhausted; to always have to do it right and to be attentive to everyone else.Now is our time to be gracious with ourselves--a graciousness there was not room for in our hearts for self-compassion perhaps. Before we may have been too pre-occupied--to strategic--too obsessed. To let go is to embrace a sense of reserve within---not that we might be withholding-- but a sense that we are now aware of what wisdom,has all along been wanting to teach us. Could it be that our new found reserve is really the best? A Prayer of Letting Goby Stephen W. Smith O Lord, I have ten fingers and two hands to clinch, clutch and catch.Teach me, that as I learn to relax my grip that you are there to now hold me firm.How can it be, O Lord that in letting go I will be grasped by you?If I can let go, will you really hold me in my free fall? There are many things for me to lay down. Too many, in fact to list in such a prayer.Must I confess my list every single day?My heart has many rooms where clutter has filled its hallowed spaces.Teach me, O Lord to release.Teach me to relax my white knuckled fists of all of this holding on. Jesus, when you said upon your last breath that you were letting go of your final breath on that rugged cross, help me to pray what you did:“Into your hands I commit my spirit.” Sweet surrender. Sweet indeed.Give me the assurance as I let go of so much that your hands really are present for me. I have this unspoken fear, you see God, that if I let go, I will be so coldly alone.I think you know that feeling. For, look at all you have let go of to love me.The sacred art of letting go is my daily act of surrender.My wants, my needs, my desires even—all must be laid down. All to Jesus, I surrender then. All to him I gladly give. Amen.
I"m so greatly encouraged that so many of you have emailed or left comments about me sharing my own personal journey of discernment.I thought I would share here some collected resources: prayers, poems, etc that I'm using that you may want to consider also. Would you mind sharing in the comment section of the blog any other resources you've found helpful---those that offer light and insight; those prayers that you find yourself saying again and again and I'll add to this list. Let's build this together. Songs, books, etc. Let's help each other here, OK? Again, leave your suggestions here so we can watch the list build.Things I've written on the blog, can be easily accessed by scrolling up and down the blog entries.Finally, Would you consider to "Share" this post on your Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, etc post as so many are searching for answers. Here are a few of mine:For a New Beginningby John O’DonohueIn out-of-the-way places of the heart,Where your thoughts never think to wander,This beginning has been quietly forming,Waiting until you were ready to emerge.For a long time it has watched your desire,Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,Noticing how you willed yourself on,Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.It watched you play with the seduction of safetyAnd the gray promises that sameness whispered,Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,Wondered would you always live like this.Then the delight, when your courage kindled,And out you stepped onto new ground,Your eyes young again with energy and dream,A path of plenitude opening before you.Though your destination is not yet clearYou can trust the promise of this opening;Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginningThat is at one with your life’s desire.Awaken your spirit to adventure;Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,For your soul senses the world that awaits you. -----------------------------------------------------Harrowing by Parker Palmer The plow has savaged this sweet fieldMisshapen clods of earth kicked upRocks and twisted roots exposed to viewLast year’s growth demolished by the blade.I have plowed my life this wayTurned over a whole historyLooking for the roots of what went wrongUntil my face is ravaged, furrowed, scared.Enough. The job is done.Whatever’s been uprooted, let it beSeedbed for the growing that’s to comeI plowed to unearth last year’s reasons—The farmer plows to plant a greening season. ----------------------------------------For RetirementBy John O’Donohue This is where your life has arrived,After all the years of effort and toil;Look back with graciousness and thanksOn all your great and quiet achievements.You stand on the shore of new invitationTo open your life towhat is left undone;Let your heart enjoy a different rhythmWhen drawn to the wonder of other horizons.Have the courage for a new approach to time;Allow it to slow until you find freedomTo draw alongside the mystery you holdAnd befriend your own beauty of soul.Now is the time to enjoy your heart’s desire,To live the dreams you’ve waited for,To awaken the depths beyond your workAnd enter into your infinite source.------------------------------------------- Disturb Us, O Lord by Sir Francis Drake Disturb us, Lord, whenWe are too pleased with ourselves,When our dreams have come trueBecause we dreamed too little,When we arrived safelyBecause we sailed too close to the shore.Disturb us, Lord, whenWith the abundance of things we possessWe have lost our thirstFor the waters of life;Having fallen in love with life,We have ceased to dream of eternityAnd in our efforts to build a new earth,We have allowed our visionOf the new Heaven to dim.Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,To venture on wilder seasWhere storms will show Your mastery;Where losing sight of land,We shall find the stars.We ask you to push backThe horizons of our hopes;And to push back the futureIn strength, courage, hope, and love.This we ask in the name of our Captain,Who is Jesus Christ. --------------------------------------------------A Prayer by Thomas MertonMY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Please allow me to share my own personal thinking about what I am thinking about regarding the rest of my life. All of us, to one degree or another is re-thinking our lives. Goodness. In the light of current events, nuclear threats and such hatred going rampant, we all need to be in the business of re-thinking many things—including our own personal futures. I’m hoping that if I am transparent and open, it might also give you words—perhaps even courage to rethink your own life, work and mission.
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