In January 2017, I decided to invest an entire year of my life on the journey in discernment. I found myself at a critical crossroad. My work, my marriage, my heart needed attention and care. The future felt looming and did not excite me.Read More
Discernment is not just an activity one engages with when we are seeking clarity on the big decisions of life such as: “Should I marry Bob? Or “Should I move to California to take this specific job? Or, “Should I attend this church or that church.
”Discernment begins with practicing experiencing God each and every day. The foundation of all discernment is the belief that God cares about the day to day “business” of our every day life. Discernment helps us to see and experience God in all things.Dailiness is where the wheel hits the road of our lives and it is in the mundane stuff of our daily lives as well as the significant events that happen to us in our days where we long for our own transformation. We want to see God at work, don’t we? Don’t we want to witness the movements of God in our every day lives? It is also where we have the opportunity to grow in our own awareness that God is moving and at work—whether we are aware of God’s movement or not. Our goal in discernment is to grow in our awareness—to wake up, so that we do not miss what God is up to in our lives and in our world. Just as Jeremiah told us that God’s mercies are “new every morning,” (Lamentations 3:23), our invitation is to be aware of these new mercies.Read More
In January 2017, I decided to invest an entire year of my life on the journey in discernment (doing the Ignatian Exercises). I found myself at a critical crossroad. My work, my marriage, my heart needed attention and care. The future felt looming and did not excite me.I decided to do an ancient, year long, proven way of deepening my own heart and experience with God that helped me; renewed my heart and is rekindling love in my marriage. I think I've morphed into a new place; a new space and a new way of living my life and expressing my faith.I did this because:
as I aged—my answers and boxes were not working or fitting me or others anymore. Old paradigms were crumbling. I was de-constructing.
as I worked and poured my life into others—I needed to be poured into;
as my marriage also aged, we both saw thin spots-- with sounds of the ice cracking around us. We needed deep renewal and rekindling or we would not end well. We were not coupling well. We admitted that something was wrong.
as I contemplated my future being relatively healthy, yet acknowledging my inner weariness—I needed to find some answers about my next stage.
I needed to find some answers to questions that seemed to have plagued me nearly all of my life. I felt unsettled in thinking about repositioning my life but unsure how to do what I wanted to do.
Motivated by these questions and certain disillusioning events that had happened in a key staff relationship at my work, I felt like I was at my end. I well recall telling our Board, “I’m done. I cannot go on. I’ve hit a wall and I will not recover from this impact.”Read More