Re-Thinking Our Lives: Using the Language of Repositioning and Discernment

Allow me to share my own personal reflections about what I am thinking regarding "the rest of my life." As I think out loud regarding my own life, it may give you a portal into your own life. Through what I share, it may become a window for you to stare into regarding your own life and future.  My hope is that these reflections will give you some language and tools to help you navigate your own choices ahead and to help you reflect back on choices you made in the past--be they good and healthy choices or decisions that you can know glean wisdom from which become an invitation to choose more wisely in the future.Here, I may offer you some language which may be a bit different than you are accustomed to now.  Some of the language, stories and insight I will share here are the fruit of my year long path of discernment.  So I am your companion in this journey to both understand and explore discernment and finding great clarity about our future pathways.  I"ll tell you about this later.When we travel in a foreign country and hear a different language, it can take a while to learn a few basic sentences to navigate our way through that foreign and distant place. Learning some basic language about the landscape of repositioning is key in not only growing in our own self-awareness and God-awareness but also in terms of knowing where we are right now and where it is we want to head out to next on this incredible journey called life.When it comes to knowing God's will for our lives and how to "do" God's will; how to make wise decisions and move with some sense of inner assurance that what we have decided, is in fact--God's best for our lives--this is what this is all about. So my hope is that this will help anyone at any stage or season of life that wants to live with a greater sense of confidence; a deeper sense of peace and an inner knowing that we are truly not alone in this journey--but that we can deeply sense God is with us--every step of our way.So, the language of our soul, caring for our soul and discerning our future lives in some respect is warranted not matter at what intersection your find yourself at right now. You may be single, thinking of marriage. You may be married, considering children. You may be in your second job realizing that this job is not what you signed up for and you want to hunt again for the right fit. You may be newly divorced, a widow or just buried a parent. You may be full or energy or experiencing burnout. You may be, like me on the threshold of what is called, “retirement” but somehow knowing that you don’t want to quit—you really want to reposition yourself to do what you’ve felt drawn to do for a long, long time. But, before we set out on a course and lock in our GPS on a new direction, let’s first, get some language and some new tools down to help us make wise choices and sense that God is in this deeper work of what I am calling repositioning. Re-Thinking Our LivesAll of us, to one degree or another, are re-thinking our lives. As the world changes, so we do also. Just think of it—the iphone came onto the scene in 2007 and look at how all of our lives have changed with the times. We may not all like what has happened but nevertheless, we are all citizens of this globe we call home and we all need more light for some of the dark paths we must navigate. With the advent of email, technology and social media, all of our lives have been impacted to some degree. In the light of current events, nuclear threats and such hatred going rampant, the world is not the same as it was. It feels more tense; more fragile and more dangerous than at any other time in my life time. There’s angst. There’s fear. There is uncertainity. All of this combined with our own personal circumstances, needs and desires. All combines, I'm not sure I have met a person who is not--at some level--re-thinking their lives.It’s important to realize that when I speak of repositioning our lives. I am not speaking of a linear, programmatic and cookie cutter way to do this—to reposition our lives. To reposition one’s life begins with understanding some language of the soul—the kind of terms and vocabulary that every soul knows deep down inside. This language is what this book is about. It is about like a reading primer that some teachers used in our early grade school experience when we were introduced to words, phrases and finally sentences and paragraphs to begin to learn to read.To learn to read the deeper movements of the soul—the shifts, urgings, longings, aches and consolations of our soul is all apart of what we will explore. What “repositioning” means:Let’s begin with getting our minds and hearts wrapped around the word: “repositioning.”The word, “reposition” means to shift—to adjust. Our internal shifts happen in us as we journey through life making modifications and adjustments. We have been told that the “only constant in life is change” and with this reality, then we are the ones who must make some shifts to reposition ourselves.This adjustment—this amending of our lives—this re-thinking of our future direction is what I call “repositioning.”We are seeing major repositioning of people groups around our world who are forced to reposition themselves physically because of threat, war or persecution. We call such people refugees. They are fleeing one place and in route to a safer, more hospitable place. They may be forced to flee. They may not want to flee. They may dread the entire journey of fleeing but nevertheless, some kind of physical shift is necessary. But, long before these people groups began to move physically from one place to another, there began an inner shifting—a changing of the tectonic plates of their worlds that motivated them to shift from one place to another.  They came to their senses; they somehow intuitively knew; they had what we call a "sixth sense" that informed them that they needed to go. They were under pressure—perhaps pressure they could not take any longer. They were seeking a better life—a better way to do their lives. Their anxiety over what might happen motivated them into action. And also, most refugees do not flee alone. They band together and move in mass to a safer new world.My ancestors immigrated to the United States from Ireland. Something in their souls was stirring. Something inside their hearts was pulling them forward to both leave something familar behind but also to reach ahead for something that was "not yet".  As they repositioned their lives--my very life right now stands on the shoulders of men and women, who stood up and moved out and ventured forth.  As you think back on your own ancestors, perhaps you will be able to grow in a deeper appreciation of what they did--of what they did for you.Clearly it is one thing to have to be a refugee and a whole other concept of repositioning one's life.  But what is important to remember that somewhere along the way--whether one is a refugee or is simply repositioning one's life--there was first some kind of inner movement that gave birth to an action--an action that required a shift, change, new season or new beginning of some form or another. We are all on a journey. We are all pilgrims. The language of the Bible offers us a word that helps define who all of us are as refugees, white-collar migrant workers, blue collar machine workers, medical professionals, pastors or global leaders—we are all pilgrims. We are all on a journey—a journey that defines us throughout our lives on the long road to heaven. The Psalmist knew this language well when he wrote;“Blessed are those whose strength is in you,whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.”—Psalm 84:5 (NIV).Pilgrimage best defines our lives on planet Earth. We start out at in utero in our mother's womb; following a path in our formative years; build travelling companions or friends and navigate the many paths ahead of us. There are the choices of a spouse or not, the kind of job that we feel like that fits us and we are gifted for; where we want to live out of all the choices before us and the pathways of parenting, living out of lives through seasons, trials, joys and sorrows. Each of these seasons are really times of repositioning ourselves for the next leg of the journey.  From womb to tomb, we wake up to the fact that we all are pilgrims on a journey.When author and scholar, Eugene Peterson finds the right and descriptive words to translate for us the Psalmist’s intent in his sacred poem, Peterson helps us with these words:“And how blessed all those in whom you live,whose lives become roads you travel;”—Psalm 84:5, The MessageOur lives are the very roads that God travels. You you imagine for a moment what this might actually look like and feel like? God is on this joruney with us--sometimes a silent companion; sometimes a companion who might pull the rug out from under us to get our attention in some way; and in all ways God is present whether God is seen or unseen. Our own lives are the pathway that God hovers about and within on the long road home. God is our Companion on this pilgrimage and as we age, as we journey forward, this awareness grows deeper and deeper within us to truly know—God is with us. He is not only “with us” but God is in us---moving within us to awaken us; give us keener insight and understanding about our journey.As we shift; as we transition; as we reposition, we can be assured that God is moving on our inner roadways of longing and desire; lament and grief and fears and peace. Knowing this—is like recognizing some road signs that are posted along the path we’ve been trekking.  When we reposition, we can learn to pay attention to the inner road signs--the inner movements of God within us to nudge us this way or that way.  Discernment is about knowing the inner trail markings that can and do offer us the invitation to follow with clarity and certainity. ( I will continue this in future blogs and I would invite your comments, feedback and insights! Please consider posting your thoughts and reflections here on the blog to allow others to have insight and encouragement!)

The Care of the Soul

The Care of the Soul is the answer to these questions!The care of the soul is not a program to be mastered; not an agenda to be followed; not a curriculum in which we advance. The care of the soul is a way of life—a way taught by Jesus, followed by the early church, practiced in communities in the mid centuries and almost entirely forgotten and neglected by the modern church today.This way of life is a clarion call to pay attention to God in the world and in your own life. Soul Care is about awakening to what really matters in life—far, far more than monetary success, personal achievement and individual significance. The more modern we become, the more likely we are to both forget and ignore the old, ancient ways that we see in the Scriptures. In today’s world, we value the fast and swift; the busy and the one who can multi-task efficiently; the strong and convincing.  By returning to our roots, we find a whole, other way to live--a way the ancients knew and practiced--a way that brought them life in the midst of trials and tribulation. We need this hope today, don't we?Our souls are in need of great care because there is great violence happening in the world today and great violence in our inner lives. The world seems so thin—so much turmoil—so much disturbing us. We seem on the brink of war with so many. Our inner worlds are in turmoil too! We’ve become over-medicated; over stimulated and over committed. We can’t do it all. We can’t keep up. We’re not sleeping well anymore and there always seems to be a committee meeting happening in our minds when we try to be silent.  The expectations we care in our minds about our work, marriage, money, relationships and witness to the world can sink us. They are heavy, often conflicting with one another and sometimes confusing. We need help.[tweetthis]The care of the soul is a non-linear, fluid and kinder way of life.[/tweetthis] Soul Care has a predictable movement which involves these developments:- an awakening that we need to tend to our inner life.- a confession that we can’t do this on our own and that we need help.- a humility to become a beginner in something we’ve never been good at but need to master.- a guide to show us the way forward.Perhaps we need to just stop here and say that the reason why there is so much resistance to the care of the soul is because we are not really good at all at: awakening, confessing, being humble and realizing we need a guide. Our culture has shaped us into almost the exact opposite of each of these postures of the heart. We have been led to believe we are already the enlightened ones. We have no need of confessing anything because we feel we have not done anything wrong. We are stiff-necked not bowing to anything or anyone. Thinking that we are the real trail blazers we have no need of guide because there is simply no time to ask anyone for guidance.Caring for the soul is seen first and foremost in the life and teachings of Jesus, himself. Since he said, “I am the way…” we would do ourselves some good here if we remembered that the first followers of Jesus never called themselves “Christians.” They referred to themselves as the “followers of the way.” This is mentioned five times in the book of Acts alone.I’m sorry that the church, in general, is not much help here. Addicted to programs, attendance and performance, we must return to the ancient ways to find our own ways of doing our life. I lament this so often as I travel, experience and witness the unfolding of our American attempt to be the church.  Personally, I feel like we are on thin ice with our smoke machines, performance driven ways and spectator like methods of worship.  I'm so thrilled to share a new and just released resource with you here. Our friends, Mark and Carrie Tedder have now released a way for house churches, missionaries, those who travel; those who can't go to church--a new way to worship. It's called, "Scattered and Small" and you can view it here. It's a way to worship without the frills and trappings and for those who might want intimate, small and more reflective.  I am thrilled to discover churches that embrace the care of the soul for the sake of others as a basic tenet of their life. I'm so glad to say, I know of many and lift of the chalice of my life to greet their life.Throughout the history of our faith, individual men and women have stood up and stood against the tide of culture defining our faith and how to do our faith. Throughout time, there have always been individual voices beckoning us this way or that way and a part of caring for your soul is listening to the voices who speak with authority, clarity and conviction.  Perhaps, you might decide to start reading books published 100 years ago–for in these pages, you will find a more distilled voice–a voice that we can benefit from in today's modern world. Ancient wisdom still lives today and helps us today.Potter’s Inn is a resource to individuals who seek to care for their soul and then offer that same care to others. Our Aspen Ridge Retreat is a place people can come to be trained, receive guidance from our trained spiritual guides, and explore more resources we offer.To get started or to continue in the journey of caring for your soul, I’d like to suggest the following places to dig in:

  1. Get and read, Embracing Soul Care and do a daily reading. Use it as couples, in small groups, with a friend or alone. There are short entries to grasp some new thinking. Also, consider reading Soul Custody. Use this as a guide because there is a short study at the end of each chapter.
  2. Consider having a spiritual guide—a spiritual friend where you can enjoy conversations that are deep; life-giving and healing. At Potter’s Inn, we offer this through Skype, but also in person at the retreat.
  3. Attend a retreat this coming year. Consider the Potter’s Inn hallmark retreat: The Soul Care Experience. It’s a five-day, guided retreat covering the life-giving themes of soul care. The May 2016 is almost full but there is room in the fall retreat in October.
  4. Consider the Soul Care Institute, which is a two-year, cohort modeled training initiative led by seasoned veterans in the field of soul care.

Caring for your soul is a spiritual journey that has tremendous benefits for our physical life, our human bodies and minds–who always seem to beg for more!  It is a journey of the heart and mind, where a place of convergence begins to flow onward and inward.Blessings as you move onward and inward in the care of your soul this year!  

The Power of a Spiritual Conversation

Not every conversation we have is---well, spiritual. While I believe that God is everywhere, that does not mean that God is in everything I talk about in the midst of my day.  "What shall we get at the grocery store?  What do you want for dinner?  Would you like butter on your toast or not?"  See what I mean?But in the course of life's seasons, we need to have spiritual conversations with people who are good listeners. Let me be clear here, most people are not good listeners. They listen for facts not feelings. The listen for what they hope to hear. They listen when it may not cost them something.A spiritual conversation is a reciprocal dialogue between two people where thoughts, opinions and feelings are share and received. It's two-way. Not one way.I wrote in The Jesus Life that spiritual conversations take place at the table where we eat our meals. They don't have to talk place in offices or on the phone.  It's never an intent when you ask someone for lunch--to share protien, carbs and water with someone. No, when you ask someone for lunch, you're really meaning, "Hey, let's get together so we can share what's been going on in our lives. It's been too long. How about next Tuesday at noon at the deli?"  That's the stuff of conversations where hearts connect and souls meet and people who are lonely become spiritual companions.Spiritual direction and soul care provide a way for people to engage in life-giving, journey altering, God-seeking and heart affirming conversations.  A session might begin this way, "Where has God been in your life this week?" or "Where have you sensed God's presence in your life this week?"  It might cause some pause and stopping to consider the question--which is good. Spiritual conversation is not run on sentences which have little or no meaning. Spiritual conversations are where the heart is engaged and is free to finally speak its mind! A good question is like an ice pick that jabs around in your frozen heart, picking at this, chipping away at that until--at last--you are finally free to say what you wanted to say all along but simply couldn't. You weren't ready. You didn't trust the listener yet. You didn't know if you'd be judged or not. When you feel safe, the heart will emerge and for some us, we have waited a long, long time to speak our minds---and to share our hearts.One pastor I have a monthly spiritual conversation with, was afraid of beginning spiritual direction. He wasn't too sure of what he might be getting into. But one of his church members gave him a gift of 10 sessions in soul care with me and now he would say, he's found a soul friend and a safe place he never really new existed.Dr. Curt Thompson has taught us that neurons are finally rewired and re-fired when a person is free to talk and feels safe to do so AND when the person who is talking senses that he is being listened to---that the person actually gives a damn about what you are saying.  Too often, we intuitively surmise that no one really cares at all about what I'm saying. So we shut up. We clam down our shells and go inward.  Yet, spiritual conversations are what frees the heart; enlivens the soul and makes a person feel healthy and whole.One of the new offerings at Potter's Inn will be SKYPE sessions where you can sign up for three soul care sessions with one of our staff and engage in meaningful conversations.  If this is something that interest you, please contact us at resources@pottersinn.com and we'll schedule a time to really talk. If you've never experienced spiritual direction or a soul care session, this could be a new beginning. It's our way of offering the heart of our life and ministry to people who live all over the world.Ready to talk?  Give is some thought and let me know.