A New Year and Another New Beginning

A New Year means a new beginning! We get many opportunities to get things right in life. The timeless truth of the ancient image of the potter at work on the wheel reveals an all important truth for us! The potter’s wheel turns many, many times giving the potter time after time to get the pot right. We never just have one chance; one opportunity when we think of our new year this important way. The beginning of a new year gives us all the choice to get something right that has been, well…not right, for perhaps a long, long time. When we think this way, it is really grace for us. We give up the weight of having to try and to try harder. We simply begin and we learn to begin again.Here are five suggestions that I hope will give you some perspective to think through about your life and your future. Each of these suggestions will take practice; beginning again and again to get it right and this one most especially: grace---please choose to extend grace to yourself as you begin again. Think these through. Print this out and consider reading it with a friend over a meal or with your family. See what other ideas along with my ideas will spark in your and in your conversation. Here are my five suggestions for our new year ahead:1. Work smarter, not harder. Learning to work smarter takes into account:a.Your capacity—It’s not just how much can you do but how much SHOULD you do? Our true capacity is not really a measurement of if we are “high capacity people” or not. It is more sacred than that very corporate way of measuring people. It is about learning to keep our humanity in tact. That means giving up the myth that we “should” and “have to” always be doing more. To preserve our humanity and healthy relationships, we may need to learn to do less-but to actually do what we do better.b.Your margin—We need to think in terms of this focused question—Is my life—at the rate I am currently living—sustainable? When we include having margin in our life, it means not giving all we have; all the time to everyone around us. It means reserving time, energy and space—our every hearts for those we love and truly care for in this life right now—not later.c.Your boundaries—Are you saying “Yes” to the wrong people in your life? What would it mean to learn to say “Yes” to yourself and “No” to others? Sometimes, we have to learn to say “No”to others in order that we can say “Yes” to those we love—which includes ourselves and my friends, this is NEVER a selfish act. Never!2.Right size your life! We’ve all heard the expression “down size.” Companies down size. But sometimes, there is resistance to thinking of down-sizing when it comes to our personal life or church or a ministry. Let's learn to think of things with a new term: RIGHT SIZING! What would your life look like if you live this next year “right sizing your life?” What would you need to stop doing? What do you want to start doing? This is an expression that Gwen and I are embracing as we contemplate the future of our own work and our short time left to do this work. We want to give up illusions of expanding and rather, embrace living life that feels right, is right and treats us right as well as other people!3. Live with the End in mind. Most of us live with an illusion that we will outlive death—perhaps even escape it. But living wisely means to live each day with your own end in mind and that does not mean retirement. It means the end of your physical life on this planet. Benedictine Spirituality, which has greatly impacted our life and work says, “Keep death always in front of you.” If we do this, we will not live with regrets. We will grow in our appreciation of people—not things and embrace an eternal perspective in life not just focused on the here; the immediate and the urgent. I sit with a person each month who is a Benedictine Monk. As I sit and process where I am on my own journey, I see behind them--hung on the wall--a picture, an iconic image of my own spiritual director lying on the floor with a funeral pall draped over their entire body. It is a sobering reminder for me each month as I sit talking about my life to live with my own end in mind. It's a humbling yet healthy realization to embrace in our Facebook lives where we offer illusions of happiness, fun and out of proportion pictures which tell us that we are missing out; we better hurry up and do what they are doing to really live. When I processed this picture with my spiritual director, I am reminded that the Benedictines make a vow to "live every day with death in mind." It's a vow that helps keep them grounded and humble. What would it be like if in our marriages, friendships and work, we did the same to remember how fragile, brief and fleeting life is?4. Live this next year in a sustainable rhythm. By far, the #1 violation of people’s lives is simply this: We are living too fast; doing too much and have stripped the gears of our soul where there is nothing left but 5th gear and reverse. A sustainable rhythm has it’s foundations in the very heart and work of God. God worked six days but left one whole and complete day for rest. By embracing a cadence of life where we learn to rest and give up the illusion and false notion that says: Our life is up to us. Our work is up to us. The well being of other people is up to us. These are all fabricated lies that attach themselves to our hearts and literally squeeze the life out of us—robbing us of true life itself. In our work with thousands of leaders in the marketplace and ministry, the violation of living in a sustainable rhythm is rampant, destruction and dangerous. It is why there is so much exhaustion in people’s lives, marriages, relationships and souls.5. Live with your Soul in mind this next year! When we learn to live with our soul in mind, we will embrace the notion of caring for our souls. We are not machines. We are an integrated, cohesive and unified creation. We are wonderfully and fearfully made. So when we live with the soul in mind, we understand that stress, busyness and living in the fast lane will not only make us tired. It will make us sick. It will suck the life out from us. When we live with the soul in mind, we will live whole and holy lives—experiencing a deep sense of satisfaction, contentment and happiness. These are things that we cannot buy—cannot manufacture and cannot barter for. Contentment is an inside job which involves careful attention, nourishment and cultivation. When the Apostle Paul said, “I have learned the secret of being content…” he wrote those words while chained to a wall of a prison. What Paul learned, we can learn.Friends, a New Year provides the opportunity for us to give attention to our very lives. I trust these five suggestions will give you fodder for the fire of transformation this next year and throughout our lives.--------------------------------------------------------------If you've not yet been able to give an important Year End gift to help sustain the work and ministry of Potter's Inn, please consider doing so. A deep thanks for those of you who have already done so!If you'd like to begin the really important work of partnering with us by a much needed monthly gift, then here is the link to set up your one time or monthly gift in an easy, safe and secure manner.Here's the link: < Donate To Potter's Inn for One Time Year End or Monthly

Why Resolutions are Important and Needed!

Resolutions are like anchors for a ship.  The anchors are used to prevent a ship from crashing into dangerous reefs and obstacles.  They are instruments providing safety and security.  Making resolutions for the New Year can become anchoring statements--words of absolute resolve--palpitations of your inner desires--spoken, made public and concise.When I look back on my life--almost every good thing that has happened to me, has resulted of formulating these anchor resolutions.  Once I resolved to buy a "little cabin the the woods."  When we did buy the cabin tucked in the North Carolina mountains--that cabin became the respite my soul was literally dying for--it also became the prototype for Potter's Inn--as we know it today.  I made other resolutions in years past about my weight; my fractured relationships and my marriage.  Some have become so life transforming that I now shutter to think of what my life would have become--had I not found anchor resolutions to give me hope, resolve and a clear way to move through choppy seas and seasons of my life.  They became for me, more than something I was tethered to. Rather, my resolutions became guiding strands which gave me light in the midst of stormy times and a way to walk through whatever chaos I was finding myself in at that moment.People drift. People crash and people sink.   I've done all three of this---or should I say, I've run onto dry ground; my boat has taken on massive water and I have been in despair. To prevent the unthinkable for us, work on some simple statements which will give you a course to follow; safety from drifting off course and protection from sinking.Here are 6 resolutions you might want to consider working with---making them your own as your move into the New Year. 

1.  Do something about forgiveness.  For most of us there are remnants of messy, broken and severed relationships.  The lack of forgiveness can take root in us causing us inner stress, mental anguish and relational isolation.  Who is the one person you want to move towards to forgive?  How can you do extend forgiveness.
2. Do something about your pace of life and stress level.  Most of us feel victims to our clocks and calendars. We resign to surviving as if we can do nothing about the running on empty feeling we experience.  By choosing to move more slowly---how can you resolve to do this:  give intervals between meetings; allow yourself grace time on each side of your commute rather than giving the bare minimum.  The real question I've found that most of us rarely ask ourselves is this: What can I do today that will be life giving.
3. Give yourself self-compassion.  For those of us in caring professions, we care  for others without giving care to ourselves.  For business leaders, navigating the whitewater of money, success and the fear of going under---what would self-compassion look like?  For the pastor and missionary; counselor and teacher---what can you do each week to give yourself mercy, grace and love?  Remember this, those who give must be given to....
4. Pay attention to your Spiritual Life.  The spiritual life is not a program to be managed. It is an organic, wide-open journey where we become awake, aware and active in our walk with God . What can you do to attempt to wake up and walk more aware this year?
5. Embracing the care of your body.  Our bodies are the address of our soul. The care of our soul is directly linked to the care of our body.  Rather than set big, unattainable, unrealistic and unachievable goals, mark a path where you can realize a movement in your body care like this:  Rather than make a "D" in my body care, I want to achieve a "B".  Only a few of us will ever get an "A" here. I'm certainly not one of those. But making a "B" is to live with this:  I feel good about how I am treating my body.  Good is better than poor.
6. Unplug from technology.  I've found in working with leaders in the marketplace and ministry that being wired has become the #1 threat to their resilience. They are slaved; tethered to little machines. Make a resolution to unplug on day a week.  Here's a link to help with this offered through our ministry, Potter's Inn:  Get the UNPLUG Challenge here!

 Let me take this final opportunity to thank those of you who have stood with Gwen and me this past year in the support of Potter's Inn.  Potter's Inn for many, has become an anchor ministry for many around the world.  Your gifts and support make this anchor to happen for people.  It's been a year of expansion and our margins have run thin.  But by your help, we will finish this year strong and in the black--ready to offer an anchor to many who are tossed about on the stormy seas of life.  May God bless us!  May God hold us!  May God have mercy upon us all!Happy New Year---and may this be so! Steve

Pondering Means Not Hurrying

“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2: 19In a single verse, we are privy to what Mary actually did—after she was told that she was going to have a baby and that her baby would have a sacred role in God’s plan for humanity.We see in Mary’s response an action that is beautiful, humble and meaningful. She doesn’t rush around telling her closest friends what has happened. She doesn’t make a plan. She doesn’t fret, worry or let her nerves get the best of her.Mary’s heart reveals two needed postures in today’s frenzied world with 24/7 news in the ever-ready, always on world we live in today. Mary “treasures” the information she has been given. Then, Mary “ponders” it.To treasure and ponder both the seen and unseen things of our lives grounds us. By treasuring and pondering truth, we develop and grow a contemplative soul—a soul that ponders the invisible; a soul that responds rather than reacts and a soul that is anchored in a bigger picture of life than just the urgent, pressing and hurry.[tweetthis]There are five components needed to grow a contemplative soul.[/tweetthis] These five components have been the foundation for Gwen and me in our life in our sabbatical and post-sabbatical. 

1. We need silence. In today’s world of outer noise and inner confusion, silence helps us find our heart. It’s only 18” between our head and our heart but that journey is said to be one of the longest journeys in the world. Silence helps us de-clutter our minds; center our hearts and work through the mental congestion where it seems there is always a sort of committee meeting happening in our minds. Silence is necessary to grow a pondering heart. Without silence, we are told that it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life.  Every day, seek to spend 10-20 minutes in silence. Start with 10 and grow your time to be more like 20. Most spiritual masters encourage us to spend 20 minutes in quiet---learning to treasure the Presence of God in our midst. There what’s unimportant in our lives grows smaller while what is really important becomes larger and Great.  By far, the very best book I've read on silence this past year is Martin Laird's "Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation."

2. We need Solitude. Solitude is not just being alone. It is understanding the movement of beginning alone and entering the realization that you are not alone—really. You are in God’s presence. As Mary spent time “pondering” her aloneness was transformed in hearing again and again what the Angel actually told her. She relished in that experience. We can relish in ours. When we learn how to “do” solitude, we are entering a movement on which all spiritual mothers and fathers would agree: Without solitude, we cannot find our heart or True self. Solitude grounds us from the applause of people, the scaffolding of position and power and helps us leave the tyranny of the urgent to connect with the Ground of our Being.  I'd highly recommend, Henri Nouwan's The Way of the Heart to help you grasp the classic understanding of solitude.

3. We pray. I’ve found that prayer is the great stumbling block for most people who follow Jesus. We either don’t pray at all or our prayers are more quick rescue pleas from some situation we are hoping to avoid. Prayer is conversation. It is dialogue not monologue. It is a two way, reciprocal conversation where we speak and God speaks. The Ancients said, “God’s first language is silence” and if all we hear is silence from God in our prayers then we posture ourselves to experience a sort of Grand Silence—a quiet that assuages our aches and fears. The silence brings us to Presence. As we “ponder” and “treasure” we articulate what is stirring. We give words to the wordless feelings we experience. We connect. We sit in our connection.  The book that rocked my world this past year on prayer is Cynthia Bourgeault's Inner Awakening.

4. We become slow. There is an art of slowing that our culture is missing today where everything is fast and instant. The cult of speed causes us to move so fast that we speed by Heaven in our midst. No one who lives with “hurry” as a mantra has time to “ponder” and “treasure” and thus, we miss the richness of a feeding that can be ours. Walk slowly. Move slowly. Be attentive to your taste buds rather than scarfing down our food where there is barely time to taste or “taste and see that the Lord is good.” For more on slowing please read: The Jesus Life by Stephen W. Smith. There are chapters describing the way of the table and the rhythm of life that helps one foster a contemplative heart.

5. We experience consolation. A person who nourishes a heart to “ponder” and “treasure” is a person who learns where the source of consolation really is and how consolation works in the soul of a person. Ignatius of Loyola said that if a person spent time every day to notice how they were consoled by the love and grace of God every single day for three months, they would never, ever be the same again. This is the practice of examining your day---and tracing back through the seen and unseen events of your day and noticing how God was seeking to console you—the way a mother would console a fretting child. Does he do it through beauty? Does God do it through a conversation or something you notice? And the opposite is also true: how did you experience the desolation of God’s seeming absence? Where did it seem that you were totally on your own with God no where in sight?  Jim Manny's book is a classic on this!

  As we enter these days of Christmas an in anticipation of the New Year--- Mary can become a teacher for us—a mentor we need to become less busy and deeper in our hearts!  

How Much is Enough?

Just as the Children of Israel began their long, arduous journey into the Wilderness, so we find ourselves in our own wilderness. We, like they, have left a life or hardship and are headed towards a land we believe is better—a land God is drawing us into.But how do we survive whatever wilderness we find ourselves in right now? We may feel emotionally lost; relationally poor, vocationally searching, politically off course; materially starving and spiritually challenged. It truly does not take long for us to realize our own wilderness—whether individually; in church, workplace or nationally.There's no better time that right now in Advent and preparing for Christmas to sit with these thoughts.In the midst of such a whirlwind, how do we move forward, onward, upward to a place that is at last for us NOT wilderness? The Children of Israel needed guidance and guidance was provided. We need guidance too because the surest form of any kind of wilderness is to realize that you really are lost, alone and tired.God’s provision for them is the same for us today. God provided manna and quail and God provided this food for body and soul every single day—except for one day. The people were told, every day, there will be “enough.”The word “enough” is what tripped them up and it is the same word that trips us up. What is enough? Should we hoard so that we can live in a false security—an illusion of provision by stockpiling? [tweetthis]The seduction of safety---the illusions of what really is enough is what keeps people getting back on the hamster wheel. It is what keeps people in fifth gear. It is what really is wilderness.[/tweetthis]The fear of not having enough makes us not only hoard but it motivates us to foster an erroneous view of what security really looks like and feels like. We hoard more than money these days. We hoard adventure, pleasure, spiritual experiences, and even relationships. We will hoard anything and anyone that gives us the sense of security that only God can give.The Children of Israel were told three things:

1. You’ll be given what you need for each day.
2. Don’t hoard the manna.
3. You must not gather—work—or strive to do anything on the Sabbath.

What if our guidance right now--no matter what our wilderness might be is the same guidance as the Children of Israel:

• Trust in God's provision every single day.
• Don't hoard gifts, parties, experiences and people. Don't hoard food either!
• Rest this Advent and Christmas rather than being devoured by the wilderness of Christmas

 These three paradigms shape who we can navigate any wilderness and any time in life. Believing that God is indeed good and will not withhold from us, the children of today is core. We trust God at his word. And this sense of trust allows us to loosen our grip and our energy to do more; work harder and whip the wind up around us to give the appearance that we are the ones making all this happen.We are provided for in life by a God who loves us. This second realization allows us to let life be and take off the urgency that we often feel that we are the ones who have to produce and that life is up to us. This is really a form of atheism. It is at best a form of deism that says, “There may be a God up there somewhere. I don’t know. So I’ll live my life as if there really isn’t a God—and live like everything is up to me.The third foundation truth given to the Children of Israel in their own wilderness, is what I believe to be the core truth,so needed today. We, like they need rest. We need a time of ceasing every six days to be--- and not to do. We are not to gather. We are not to hoard. We are not to produce. We are simply to rest.At the core of Sabbath is the submission to a greater design to life that we see today with all of the striving, hurry and scurry. We rest. We live in the realization that we have enough—enough for THIS day and that God has indeed provided what we have. We celebrate that life is not up to us—that God has given us a gift of a sustainable rhythm where we can work but we also can recover.In this rhythm, we work and move through wilderness….and we celebrate the light of God’s blessings. We enjoy the fruit of our work---we see our own weekly harvest. We feast in a way that requires no work—no striving.Many years later, a person gave even more insight about the temptation to work obsessively and to hoard all we make. It is written, “Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind” (Ecc. 4:6).The real question here is what is enough and what is really “Better”.This is the question for Sabbath. This is the question over coffee with a friend or over dinner with your family. This is the question of our soul and it has been asked for a very long time and answered in many, many different ways.How will you answer these questions?Would time---giving an "experience" be a BETTER gift to someone that more stuff?What does the person you want to gift at Christmas really need as oppose to really want?How could you give a Sabbath to someone you love? What might that look like?