When Jesus told us “Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8), he was clarifying a method for experiencing God as well as a clarion call to find God in a new way.Religion can become so polluted. They pathways to God can become very congested. Jesus brings clarity to the way we find God. The method that Jesus uses for us to experience God is more simple than complex and more uncomplicated than we might expect. In the United States alone, there are now more than 175 different denominations--all claiming to believe the right thing and to do religion in the right way. But who is really right? Who has the pure and unadulterated form of religion?Jesus helps us and rather than turning to religion, we can turn to a teaching that helps us really experience God in a way we all long to do in our lives. We experience God when our hearts are pure. A heart that is sincere is the heart that has the breakthroughs and epiphanies where light shines in the dark spaces. The alternative to a pure heart helps us truly capture what a pure heart is not.Polluted. Complicated. Murky. Divided. These are all descriptor words they help us understand purity in a more profound way. A polluted heart is a heart that has been exposed to toxins, contaminants and poisons. These vary from person to person and culture to culture. These toxins may be emotional garbage from our pasts, cutthroat competition, loveless and cheap sex, magic show religion and paranoid loneliness. These, and other forms of murky living and shallow values, erode the pure nature of a heart’s capacity to experience God. How do you see toxins in the church today? How can we practice more of an anti-toxic way of loving God and keeping life a bit more simple?In other stories and teachings of Jesus, he elevates the posture of a child likeness as being the real way adults should lean into their faith. In the child’s heart—we find a zeal of passion that is resilient; an abandonment of care that is refreshing and a singleness of mind to do one thing and not multi-task. We have much to learn from children should we take the time to allow them to be our teachers perhaps more than PhD s and experts.We tend to make everything more complicated that it perhaps should be and I find a propensity to bring our own human systems and man-made matrices into how we do faith. [tweetthis]To become more simple in our approach to God--is my friends to become more pure. [/tweetthis]Pure religion is really boiled down to two things from one of the authors of a book in the Bible: taking care of widows and orphans and that's it! But look at all of our programs! Look at our lists of things we all need to do in order to be right--or live right? What has happened to us? People can make a lot of spiritual garbage. Our garbage piles up and hurts us. Spiritual Pollution--that is what has happened to us.Like the Quakers sang years ago, these words are a clarion call to us today: "'Tis a gift to be simple and a gift to be free." I often work with pastors across the world. The private lament of so many is, "Things in church are way to complicated." "Isn't there a more simple way to do all of this, Steve?" Why, yes, yes there is. It begins with one's own heart--not trying to fix systems or repair a religion. When one person chooses to be more pure--then a more pure form of worship, joy and life will soon result.
Purity of heart is a daily filtering task. There is a lot we need to take out of our hearts in order to experience the purity Jesus is calling us to. What we watch for entertainment; what we give our minds to read about; what we take in---affects the purity of our heart. It’s also important to be aware that often it is what’s inside that broods and festers that snares us: seething anger; rotting envy; lurking malice—these and other internal vices divide the heart and form internal bastions we fortify rather than dismantle in our life and work.To be pure is to attend the daily task of seeking to live well from the inside out.
Re-Thinking Mercy
“Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy.”—Matthew 5:7
When we think of a merciful person, images of Mother Theresa squatting by a dying man under a bridge in Calcutta may come to mind. It’s rare to see a merciful person in politics, business or even church life. We live with a dogged tenacity “to get ‘ur done” and to press on in the tyranny of the urgent and competing demands of our lives to show mercy. We’re often too busy to show mercy—or what we even think might be mercy. We’re too pre-occupied with our own agendas to slow down and consider the plight of someone else. We may want to be merciful. But to WANT to be merciful and to actually be mercifully may be two different things.Here again, Jesus offers us a radically different paradigm about how to live life well. How to live well and how to be well—that’s our goal, right?At the root of the word “mercy” is the term “merc” which is an exchange. We get the English word, “mercantile” from this word. A mercantile is a place of trade where goods are exchanged. There is a giving and there is a taking and this is precisely the renewed understanding of mercy we need in our lives today. A merciful person is someone involved in both the giving and the receiving. Both are at the core of being a merciful person.
Perhaps the greatest arena of need for us to explore how to be a merciful person is with ourselves. If we don’t learn how to show mercy to ourselves, we soon find ourselves living on empty and the “check engine” light is coming on in our souls. We simply cannot give, give, and give all the time. There must be a receiving. There must be a merciful exchange which says this: Those who give—must be given to. Because I have given a lot today-this week—now… I am going to exchange some time and care for myself. To live in this merciful rhythm is life and it is life giving.The single greatest violation I see in leader’s lives is right here! Most leaders, regardless of where they serve—violate the principle of this great, Sacred exchange. They give. But they will not learn how to receive—how to receive mercy for themselves. We’re confused here. We have few good models and we need help.[tweetthis]Being merciful is never a selfish act. It is a true exchange of understanding that those who give—must be given to.[/tweetthis]Showing mercy to oneself is the art of living in the rhythm of giving and receiving.
- How will you give mercy to your body who has literally carried you through all the grueling tasks of today—of every day?
- What would it look like for you to give mercy to your body---to care for your physical well being? I have to admit here that this is a insight that I am so glad to be waking up to. If I am what I eat—then I need to eat in a merciful way to show mercy to my body—to honor my body as the address of my soul.
- How could you be merciful to yourself in your time and how you spend your time? Are you always in a hurry? How might you slow yourself down and give yourself more margin—more room for an interruption that will not send you into a implosion because some interruption occurred that you did not plan for this week?
- What would mercy look like to your mind because you have called your mind to engage in spreadsheets, emails and texts matters all day long? How can you let your mind come down--and rest?
- What would mercy look like to your emotions that have engaged all day long: anger, excitment, fear, angst, stress and so much more. How can you let your emotions relax and come down off the steriods of people, stress, stock markets and disappointments?
Mercy, when correctly understood, begins with ourselves. It’s just as Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The bottom line is that you matter! True love is living in the exchange of giving and receiving.As we first live with a recognition that we, ourselves need to give mercy to ourselves, then we find we are able, ready, eager and willing to extend mercy to others. It is an ebb and flow—a give and take. Both are needed and necessary.Most folks in leadership positions, however, are violating this exchange. They either don’t know about the needed, life giving exchange or they ignore it—thinking that they are the exception to the way life works.Mercy has no exceptions. We all need mercy and at the core of every living soul is the need to receive acts of mercy—a touch, a drink of cold water, a short respite under a shady tree where we are sheltered—if only for a short time.When we live this radical paradigm that Jesus offers us, the ripple effects begin to make waves around us. We are living well—and others will live better around us. We are showing kindness to ourselves—and that kindness radiates to those in our sphere of influence and even beyond.To be shown mercy is to be shown a better way to live than we are perhaps currently living right now. To be shown mercy is to be shown that life is an exchange. Healthy folks are not narcissistic. They give and take. As we live as merciful people, we live in a natural, God-ordered way of living that promotes life at the very core of our existence and the existence of every living thing.
The Dignity of the Work
No Time to be Sad
“Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”- Jesus in Matthew 5:4 
This is the age of superficiality. It is the age of skimming the surface of our lives without the notice of what is below the waterline.We are busy. We live fast and we are over-extended. There is so much going on above the waterline, how will we ever find the time to explore what is below the waterline? Just how does one stop and allow sadness to undo us when we are spinning all the plates of life, money, work and stress?Busy people send text messages when someone dies. There is no time to bake a pie. There is no time to give the hug that says more than words can ever communicate. We “Like” something on social media when we what we really want to say is that we don’t like it at all that you may be in a coma in the hospital and near your last breath. But a “like” or a text seems to do.[tweetthis]We do not mourn. We do not lament. We do not grieve. We have forgotten how to allow our sad hearts to bubble up to our overly made up external appearances.[/tweetthis] In Jewish culture, when someone died, people dressed in black for a whole year. That seems so endless—perhaps even ridiculous. We have parties and cookouts to attend. We have things to do; people to see and places to go.Yet in the midst of all of this living we try to do, Jesus turns the world upside down when he says, something very good will come from mourning that will in fact, bless you. I have to admit that sometimes, many of the teachings of Jesus seem like he is speaking in a foreign language—like Chinese. It seems so way out to say that there is a blessing that will come when we take the time to mourn. Is it Chinese?
[tweetthis]When we take the time to allow our sad hearts to catch up with our breathless lifestyle we soon see that we are addicted to pleasure.[/tweetthis] Ours is the age is numbing pain, not entering it. Yet, Jesus calls us to not only enter pain but to realize that when we enter pain—either our own or someone else’s that a sheer, unadulterated comforted will be ours. Jesus is calling us to enter pain, not try to go around it and more, he says, by entering pain, we assuage it—or God does.There is no escaping suffering. Sooner or later it is going to bite us all on the butt and drop us to our knees. When we mourn this; when we slow down and recognize that suffering is one of the great ties that bind us all together as humans, then we stand on level ground. There are no hierarchy’s in pain. We all stand low; kneel low and beg low, don’t we?This past year, my own family has been baptized in the cesspool of pain. The death of a child—our grandson broke us. Some people texted us. All the texts made us more sad. Can I just tell you that texting or the use of social media is probably not the best form of entering someone’s pain. When my father died, someone who I thought knew better sent a text while I was putting my suit on to take my father’s body to the grave. Rather than be comforted, I was outraged. His text broke the frozen grief in my heart. I wanted to text back, “I don’t need your text. I need you!” But like so many times, I swallowed that grief only to see if morph into a distancing and emotional estrangement today—years later.
Mourning is something even the church does not know how to do anymore. In our mega-ness, funerals are now happening in side rooms or no room at all. They are relegated to businesses that make a lot of money when we are most vulnerable. Some churches are so concerned with the lost, they have forgotten those who are lost in their grief. For many, the state of the church is worthy of mourning and lamenting.This saddens me and sickens me. I mourn about our society. I mourn about so much that seems to be happening so quickly in our country. [tweetthis]I mourn that we seem to have lost our way and I am wondering---if not mourning-- that we may never find our way again and like Rome, perish and soon. I mourn that.[/tweetthis]I mourn that so many of the folks I know are now the unchurched—a label once thought only reserved for those who never went to church. Now, I am seeing more don’t then do. I mourn that.I mourn over a lion that was killed this week. I mourn over hearing the words of a Medical doctor employed by Planned Parenthood choosing to use the words, “crush” when it comes to the skill that is now implemented in an abortion. I mourn that.I mourn that my own children cannot live in the same community and have Sunday dinner’s together. I mourn that often we live in different countries, not counties. For me, I mourn that we cannot get together enough. We never will. Times have changed. We will not be there for the birth’s of our cousins; not be able to celebrate anniversaries; not able to light candles or eat sliced, ruby red watermelon on the 4th of July. I mourn that.I mourn that my wife at 60 is having to work through the childhood issues of being raised in a Boarding School in Africa—that childhood issues become adult issues. I mourn that.I mourn that at my age I have found no way to slow time down. I only am a witness now of it's speed. I mourn this deeply. And with this mourning comes the realization that for me, one day soon, time will itself stop and I will pass like every other mortal life passes from this earth. I mourn this because I have loved my life.I mourn that I can’t call my Mom and ask her about what Dr. Oz (her favorite show) said on his TV show every day. She died. I miss her still. I mourn that. I don't know what Dr. Oz says anymore about anything. Does he ever tell us how healthy it is to mourn?There are so many things to mourn if we stop and and enter whatever it is that is happening---there is a deeper perspective. And this deeper perspective makes us love life, nourish life and protect life with every fiber in our body and soul. When we get things "out" something else comes "in" and this is what Jesus and all the Biblical writers called--peace. To get things out is to mourn whether it is the giving out of a tear, a groan, a sigh or a blog.I have never found any better words than these to help us understand the power of mourning: [tweetthis]When life is heavy and hard to take, Go off by yourself, Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions; Wait for hope to appear. Don’t’ run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Lamentations 3:28-30[/tweetthis] (I have been living in the Beatitudes of Jesus for a year and am just now blogging about the insights, gold and comfort I am finding in them.)
Living in the Beatitudes
"The poetry of history lies in the miraculous fact that once on this earth, once, on this familiar spot of ground, walked other men and women, as actual as we are today, thinking their own thoughts, swayed by their own passions, but now all gone, one generation vanishing after another, gone as utterly as we ourselves shall shortly be gone like ghosts at cockcrow." G. M. Trevelyan 
If you’re like me, you’ve read the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-11) a thousand times. You learned them in Sunday school as a child and perhaps tried to memorize them. You may not recall what I'm even talking about here. It not, take a moment and read them. I've given you the reference. Someone, perhaps a teacher, parent or grandmother just knew, a long time ago, re how important they are in life. For a long time, people have been trying to get their head wrapped around what Jesus intended in these short statements.For a year now, I’ve been parked right at their address in the Scripture and read them multiple times a week trying to dig in and suck out the marrow they offer. The fact is, I’ve been nourished and impacted in a big way.These eight paradigms uttered from the mouth of Jesus, himself offer today’s busy worker a whole new way to view life. The Beatitudes lay down a foundation of how to “do” life. In my work with leaders for 35 years now, what I’m going to say is sad and sobering. [tweetthis]Few leaders in the marketplace and ministry are happy. Discontent is epidemic. Stress is out the wazoo. We have more monetary success than ever before in this history of the world but our inner worlds are in disarray.[/tweetthis] [tweetthis]Few leaders in the marketplace and ministry are happy. Discontent is epidemic. Stress is out the wazoo. We have more monetary success than ever before in this history of the world but our inner worlds are in disarray.[/tweetthis]We have all been programmed with a way to be happy. The beatitudes fly in the face of our programming. The wheels of the bus come off of our lives when we come face to face with Jesus’ own words and his heart for us as his brothers and sisters and his friends.Yet, Jesus, the One who had the audacity to say that “I am the way, the truth and the life…” offered us eight foundational planks upon which we can build a new platform and perhaps really taste and discover—if not really live the life that is truly a life.[tweetthis]What I am finding is that these Beatitudes---there really is something up with them and as I move on with me life, I want these to be the markers of my life.[/tweetthis]What Jesus said in these short, pithy, life-altering statements are primarily two things: Live this way and you will be living in counter-cultural way. And live this way and you will be living in a counter-intuitive way.The Beatitudes are counter-cultural because they simply flow against the stream of our every-day, surviving life. In Jesus’ wisdom, he offers us a way to turn our ordinary life around and live with new ways of looking at life, people, tragedy, success and genuine health.Take the first Beatitude as an example. Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Rock my world, right here! Today, everyone is an expert. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone is selling something. Yet poverty—that posture where you have more questions than answers is the way to live. Cultivating a healthy ignorance can become more life-giving than knowing it all or pretending to know it all.What if pastors could become more poor on Sundays and in Sunday's sermons and simply say, "I've been way too busy this week to even listen to God--much less read my Bible. Perhaps you've had the same week. Could we just sit in some silence? Could we then just do some deep listening to a passage of Scripture. Sing a song and go home and eat lunch with our friends and family?" I'd like that kind of honesty rather than having to listen to a message that seems canned; seems stolen from the internet yet spoken with such authority that it is more shocking than real? Let's get poor here!What if a business leader could attend a seminar which would help them become more poor than rich—more humble than prideful; more less of a know it all than an arrogant person who people are repulsed by privately but never say so publicly. What if a leader would lead by listening to his team more; his clients more; his competitors more. That kind of poverty would yield something rich, I'm sure of it.
[tweetthis]Being poor in spirit is an invitation to become more reflective and not so reactionary. It is learning to live with wonder not facts.[/tweetthis] It is leaning more into mystery than linear thinking. It is giving up the 7 steps and the 21 habits and all that nonsense.Poor folks respond when something of worth is handed them. They respond with gratitude not entitlement. Spiritual entitlement and spiritual greed has become one of the markers of so many Christian leaders today. Spiritual greed is coveting more knowledge, more content; more insights and you hoard it. It’s not assuming the posture of being impoverished by all our books, notebooks and note-taking church. Spiritual entitlement is thinking because you’v been raised in the church or gone to seminary or something like that they people NEED to listen to you. That’s entitlement. To think people NEED your opinion or perhaps even want you opinion. Being poor in Spirit is walking around with palms up not fists clenched. Palms up living is living every day to receive whatever it is the Good Lord might want you give you that day. Then being grateful for it not holding a grudge that “they” got more than you or “they “ got something better than you. Our spiritual greed has not served us well. We are not the envy of other nations. We are not the answer to every problem and the guardian to everyone’s crisis. God is. We are not. That is spiritual poverty.Being poor in spirit for me means shifting how I look at people—especially leaders who seem to fixed---so obsessed on becoming a better something; an even higher status of a being known as a “high capacity leader.” To be honest, that term sickens me. It’s really not a compliment to say such things of anyone; especially one’s own humble and poor self. What is that way of talk anyway? A poor in spirit leader is simply not comfortable with that kind of label wearing, resume taunting person. A poor in spirit leader just shows up and says, “God, what do you have for me today?” It means dumping your plans and living with a dailiness in mind…simply to become so low that you’d say over the loud speaker in your complex. “People, today, we’re just going to do one thing! We’re going to do someone some good today.” That’s it. That’s poor in spirit.[tweetthis]For those of us who can learn this kind of spiritual bankruptcy, ours is the promise of everything.[/tweetthis] Jesus tells us the people who are low; the people who live humbly; the people who act like they are not more than they really are inside; the people who abandon their false, veneer ways of living and simply just choose to be themselves actually get everything. These kind of folks get the Kingdom.Now, for me, this is counter-intuitive. It goes against everything my daddy taught me and everything I sense in the committee meeting that goes on inside my head.Becoming poor in spirit means to walk lowly; it means to live with a daily humility that is grounded in that I am but a vapor here and I will too, soon pass from this earth. I will be replaced. I am not invincible. I am not important. It means to relish in my own belovedness as a chosen child of God—a very important person in God’s eyes and in God’s economy. It means a every day laying down in trying to promote myself and make myself to seem more important than I am. With this kind of living there is a richness—a richness that compels me to become more poor than every before.
Sabbatical: Going to the End of My Rope
“You’re blessed when you are at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”—Jesus in Matthew 5:3, Message
Most every person I know needs to dismantle their emotional programming for what it means to be happy in life. We are hard-wired to think that happiness and joy come by chasing the outer markers of success in life: a bigger house, a nicer car, a new toy. I explore this in Inside Job, my new book. We believe a lie and we make a vow that determines how we will live our life and try and try to be happy.Jesus turned this kind of thinking up on it’s head. To be happy—to be blessed—requires a total shift in our paradigm of how we view life. He offered us a paradigm shift in what is called the “Beatitudes.” These statements found in Matthew 5:3-14, are short, pithy and life-altering guidelines which help us not only dismantle our hard-wiring we’ve acquired through culture, church and family, but they help us really see how happiness is cultivated in our lives.In our Sabbatical, Gwen and I have come, face to face, with these statements--these beatitudes. Let me share one here: “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” The Message jolts us to our core and says it this way, “You’re blessed when you are at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”Blessing and happiness come by our emptying ourselves and having to rely on God in a complete and resolved kind of way. It’s when we are so vulnerable; so power-less; so weak and so empty that there is room for God to do his work. Our poverty is exchanged for his blessing. On our own, some of us try to out work and out wit God.We live as Parker Palmer has aptly coined it: functional atheism. We say believe in God and trust God, yet we live in a manic pace, stripping our souls and running our lives on empty. I had to come face-to-face with this humbling realization in our sabbatical--yet, again. We live as if our life, our work and our relationships are totally up to us. We, the, “functional atheist” of the 21st century, have soul work to do. We’d never admit it but we are more functional atheist than experiencing a faith with sustains, nurtures and shows us how to live with resilience . We live and function as if we are the ones having to push the proverbial boulder up another hill—yet again.Poverty in soul, for me meant that I had to accept let go of my grip on my work--and get out of its grip on me, my ministry and my staff. This acceptance--this consent is my daily work--my daily job. This letting go was a relinquishment of power and control. It required me confessing that I find my satisfaction in work--and not in God is not a good thing for me or anyone else around me. It is a shift towards poverty of soul for me. At times during sabbatical, I was anxious that Potter’s Inn might fail; fall apart or even die. We feel so fragile due to raising our support. Our helplessness actually fostered a deep sense of well-being---why? Because it meant letting go. Poverty of spirit meant a handing over to God all that I simply could not do and should not do.God works in us is to foster, nourish and grow a sense of contentment, inner-serenity and shalom that we live with the awareness that simply says this: No matter what my circumstances; no matter how hard this particular time is in my life; no matter how powerless I feel right now, 'All is well in my life and all will be well around me'. True contentment, my friends, is an Inside Job. In sabbatical, I left my work but I had to do my inside job.It is NOT up to me. I relinquish my efforts to be God—to be everywhere at once and to do multiple things that have stripped my soul bear and left me so empty inside. The great work of God is more than planting churches; more than sharing the Gospel; more than teaching. The great work awaiting each one of us the work of our inside job. God truly does desire our well-being. Sit with that thought for a moment and see where it might take you. What if you took a moment today and sat in your emptiness and weakness—feeling depleted and truly at the end of your rope and experienced the hands of God doing one thing: holding you. That’s it—just let yourself be held for a quiet moment. To sit, rather than DO something is an act of submission--and act of letting go--an act of well-being. Hey, I'm all for action, but even action must have it's seasons, right?In the beginning of our time “off” we felt like we truly were at the end of our rope. We were tired, worn out and experiencing some degree of burn out. So many years of pioneering and work had depleted us. A poverty within is what we had to face. As we faced our own spiritual poverty and admitted it and also confessed it—finally—we were brought low to a place of inner desperation and longing. “God, I don’t feel like I can go on. I can’t retire financially. But I’m at the end. Please God, do something. I let go now. It's time for you to do the thing that you must love to do--transform me and people like me."In that kind of confession, it seemed to have ushered us both into a journey of renewal.
Going Unplugged
For me to have a true time of sabbatical—a true time of ceasing from my work, it was necessary and mandatory that I abstain from social media during my season of rest, renewal and restoration. There is no way, that what has happened in me could have happen or would have happened if I would have stayed wired, on and available. You might think you are the exception and that you could rest and renew your heart by staying on and wired but that, my friends is an illusion that you are hooked into actually believing. In order for me, and perhaps you as well, to live sanely and with a sense of vitality and not mere survival, we need to discipline ourselves to go wireless in order that we can live in a robust, abundant kind of way. I had to do this. I needed to do this. Perhaps you do also.In today’s world, fasting from technology and dis-engaging from forms of social media are vitally important and needed. When we are so wired and insist that WiFI be omnipresent, we are submitting ourselves to a false and dangerous world. Let me be clear, I am an advocate for social media. I use it every day. However in my sabbatical, I unplugged and went off line for months and I believe in doing so, I created the space where I could cultivate my inner life; do more inside work so my outside job would go better and cultivated a sense of serenity and well-being that being wired seemed to rob me of in my life. Here are five reasons why:
1. Social media nourishes illusions about life that are not true. The images we post ; the snippets of updates we read; the “trending” of our interests builds and re-enforces a false view of life. No picture reveals the whole story, does it? Behind every smile, there is something else we do not see but is as real as all the grins we are staring at online. There is something unsaid behind every post and every instagram photo. Photos don’t reveal our child who is ADD; our son who we caught on a porn site our aging parents feeling unwanted or perhaps unloved. Pictures of men don’t reveal their inner struggles. Pictures of a ladies night out don’t clue us in on one of them having a secret addiction. Images, themselves are not the whole truth.2. When we are always present to social media, we are not present to ourselves, our hearts and God. By skimming scores of quotes, posts and images, our minds are simply taking in what it seems everyone else is doing and everyone else is saying on a particular subject. We don’t take time to reflect, to become mindful of our own thoughts, feelings and convictions. We simply react and “like” things. We grow numb to ourselves—perhaps even numb to the promptings of God. Paralyzed in doing anything else other than hold our phones and go into a catatonic trance—we withdraw to live in a wifi world- a world that is void of human touch; eye contact and presence. We grow impatient in conversation privately insisting and demanding that someone we’re trying to talk to get to the point so we can move on to something else. We do not linger with deeper implications of thoughts and are void of the ability to reflect—that one important aspect in humanity that distinguishes us from my dog and the birds that feed at my feeder. To reflect is what makes us more god-like than perhaps any other quality or characteristic in life.3. Many forms of social media enable us live on the surface rather than moving deeper in our hearts. Social media has a way of enabling us to live at the edge of subjects by reading quotes or hearing a few sentences about a subject. We don’t have the time, we think and we don’t take the time, to reflect more about something. We don’t look at both sides of the argument because our hurriedness causes us to skim and not to process.4. Addiction to social media is as real as an addiction to porn or alcohol. It is as dangerous as a meth addiction. By taking regular times of fasting from social media, we can break and curb what we feel is our “need” of it. Turning your phone off during meal times; turning all forms of beeping, buzzing and vibrating off for two hours a day or going dark or off by 8pm at night creates the needed space for conversation and reflection. Many forms of social media are actually pain remedies. We do not want to be alone or feel alone so we “engage” with an illusionary world that enables us to escape from a world we are navigating. Try fasting from all technology for your Sabbath—a true day of ceasing, which is the literal meaning of to Sabbath—is to cease.5. Social media helps devalues human relationships. Sure, it’s great to get the birthday greetings and to quickly read the news of something you really do need and want to know. But, when we lean heavily into social media by picking up our iphone every 72 seconds to see if something new is posted—while we are having lunch, coffee or a meeting with another human being, we are saying: “My social media life is MORE important than you are.” It’s rude, insensitive and uncaring to use social media in a meeting, during a conversation or sharing a meal. I’ve gotten to the point of asking the person I’m meeting with if they would mind to turn off their phone so we can be focused, present and truly "with" each other in our time together. Social media fosters a culture of living in a true attention deficit world. Can you create a “No Wire Room” in your home or workspace where phones are not allowed?
Here’s what helped me to unplug, go dark and get unwired. I asked one of my teammates to read all my emails and to decide what I really needed to know during my sabbatical. Yes, I did this. Do this for your vacation so you can really be “off” and not always checking. The checking is what gets us into trouble. What you think will be a 5 minute email results in getting pulled into so many issues, stories and crises. I put an “auto-responder” on my email telling anyone who needed me that I was off and my teammate would decide how to respond. I told my team that I was not to be called, emailed or texted by them during sabbatical; that if I was needed in case of death or the retreat center had burned down, that only one person was to get me the news. This helped to establish a boundary for them and a boundary for me. It gave me permission to go off the grid and in my going off the grid, I was able to find myself and come back with a greater sense of life inside me than I really knew was possible. We decided to not interact with our staff, Board, donors or anyone related to our work to really help me have the much needed space. It was hard. All have been gracious and kind and this one thing---protective of us during this time. They surely knew how much we needed it. Their silence was, in the end, love to us.Did I look at Facebook some? Sure. Going cold turkey was hard and it is in any form of withdrawal. It was hard for me to give up double stuff Oreos but when I chose to give up those edible demons, something better happened. My desires changed. I wanted to go off of social media; not just that I needed to go off social media and that is precisely the place where transformation happens—not in obeying the rules but by changing what you really want. When our grandson died, I wanted the world to know. When I read something that felt life altering, I did not want to withhold it. So I broke my own rules and posted a few things. But I did not look for responses of how many people liked it. (Well, I tried not to look.)
The Gift of Bewilderment
“Only at the periphery of our lives, where we, and our understanding of God, are undone, can we understand bewilderment as an occasion for another way of knowing.” Belden Lane There is nothing like being the only one walking on a desolate beach in the cool dawn of morning and stumbling upon a beautiful, broken shell that speaks to you. Now of course you know that I don’t mean the shell said something, yet it was as if, it did. I couldn’t help but plunge into the wonder of its delicate markings that formed a spiraling circle, as if to be the very mapping of the journey my heart was on. I couldn’t help but go subterranean, that place deep inside where there is no vocabulary to articulate the feeling or what I knew to be true. I was in awe, speechless. So much was being said and I was listening intently. Pondering the beautiful and the brutal of what I was ushered into left me silent and still. I dared not move for fear of losing the very encounter that my heart always longs for.So how do I describe to you what it was like for me to encounter God through a shell? It was strangely sacred, like God and I have this private exchange about the realities that are too deep for human words, so paradoxical, the silent beautiful and brutal truths mingling together way down deep, with just God and me. At times like this a gnawing frustration burrows deep too. What do I do with these wordless ponderings? The painful emotions of grief and the soothing comfort of the salt air undo me. I’m left bewildered by my inexpressible soul.While being steeped in stillness for a while, God showed me something about myself and about himself. Frustration was coming from trying so hard not to be bewildered by the deep stirrings in my heart. I was actually trying to make common sense out of something holy. God assured me of the need for quite the opposite. My bewilderment is blessed and not to be boxed up and clearly identified. Bewilderment is, as Belden Lane expresses, “an occasion for another way of knowing God. “ To be undone by the ripping grief of death is an occasion for another way of knowing God. Consoled by the beauty of strolling on a lonely beach was an occasion for another way of knowing God. Listening to the loud silence of what a shell had to say was an occasion for another way of knowing God. I didn’t have to articulate and make it understandable. It was all it had to be.To articulate what is deeply spiritual isn’t always the right thing. I wonder if a lot of Christians talk incessantly, preach too long, and teach too much because to remain in mystery is too threatening to their stated faith. Perhaps, we thirst for more information about God than experiencing the mystery of God. To embrace the mystery of the unseen and indescribable is to experience a quiet peace that surpasses the need to explain or understand. And it is a sweet peace that is palpable.Sabbatical often ushered me into this bewildering place and I found myself glad and knowing that I can rest in bewilderment.
The Place in My Heart
There is a place in my heart that I’ve been renovating. It’s been a crowded, noisy and daunting space that has needed much attention. I’ve tried conferences, books, seminars and such where I have learned tips and techniques that promised to help me with my life transformation. All have failed me, save one.I remember thinking that peace was a place somewhere on an island with a beautiful sandy beach with tropical trees and drinking coconut juice from cracked open husks. But I realized as you have also, that as we pack our bags to visit such places that our dirty laundry and inner chaos goes with us. No matter how serene the setting, the interior life can wreak havoc.People use to call their church buildings “sanctuaries.” God knows we need a sacred space to go to from time to time in this busy world we are living in today. But even that word is going the way of the dinosaur. We have stages today, not pulpits; auditoriums, not sanctuaries. We’re terrible confused—we modern people who have come so far, but feel so terribly lost. We are still in search of sacred space—a place where the heart can call home.The old monastics built places in the woods to retreat from the world’s noise. These little cabins were called “hermitages” and a Russian word—“Poustinia.” They were small places—simple spaces with no distractions, no competing sources of entertainment. They were rustic. Simple. Inviting. Safe.So, this year, our ministry has set out to build a Poustinia at our retreat in Colorado. It’s a small 12x16 log sided cabin with a green metal roof where you can hear the rain as you gaze out on Pike’s Peak, a snow capped mountain today over 14,000 feet in the air. There’s a small covered porch where one rocking chair will be placed. This little cabin in the woods is the modern day answer to the modern day plague that has infected the beautiful souls of we—the modern, wired and always “on” people. To be clear, I am one of you. I am not a monk nor am I thinking of becoming one.But one thing I do know, the building of the Poustinia for me, is an outward symbol of an inner reality that is going on inside of me. As the Poustinia is taking shape, I feel the same thing happening in me. My soul is taking shape. It would seem like I would and perhaps should have gotten my soul in shape by now. But in all honesty, it takes a long time for a saint to be made.My Poustinia is really a space within me. It is a space I need to build to connect with God; to relax in my own skin and to be my true self. It is a place of solitude where all of the insanity and chaos of this world, all of the “giddy-up” and let’s hurry faster is left outside. It is a place of shalom—that place of well-being where at last I can be with God and God with me. By going to the little cabin in the woods, I am really on a journey to go to the Poustinia within me—that place that Jesus described so aptly as a closet where you can at last be alone. Be quiet. Be still and know God at last.Competing demands; rivaling priorities and inner chaos flood our lives every single day. We seek balance but know in the end that balance is truly bunk. The journey to go to the Poustinia is a journey that every spiritual master I have ever read about has taken—and has taken alone.Our Poustinia, will have one chair, one table, one bed, one tiny wood burning stove and windows to look out and space to look inside. It is sacred space and in my heart that sacred space is being born.In her remarkable book, “Poustinia: Encountering God in Silence, Solitude and Prayer” which has mentored me in this understanding, Catherine Doherty says, “...you have, as it were, a poustinia within you. It is as if within you there were a little cabin in which you and Christ are very close; it is with this attitude that you go about your business. God forbid that you should all become recluses or hermits! That is not what is meant by being a Poustinik in the marketplace. It means that within yourselves you have made a room, a cabin, a secluded space. You have built it by prayer.You should be more aware of God than anyone else, because you are carrying within you this utterly quiet and silent chamber. Because you are more aware of God, because you have been called to listen to him in your inner silence, you can bring him to the street, the party, the meeting, in a very special and powerful way. The power is his, but you have contributed your fiat. He has asked you and chosen you to be the carrier of that silent poustinia within yourself.”So, we are all building a place within our hearts, aren't we? That is precisely what the work of spiritual formation is all about. More room for Jesus. That he might increase and I decrease. Let the renovation continue! Copyright@ 2014 Stephen W. Smith. All Rights Reserved. You may "share" this post but not copy for distribution. Thank you. Important Note: All of our retreats are fully booked for the remainder of the year. We will SOON be announcing news of 2015 retreats and our brand New Soul Care Institute, a two-three year training program.
Tis' the Season of Despair and a Time for Waiting
Never before in my life, have I personally witnessed so much despair in the lives of so many people. The economy has been depressed and depressing for five long years now. It seems so many wonderful people are struggling on a daily basis to keep their head above water. Most are struggling. Many are stumbling. Collectively, we are surviving but few could honestly say they are thriving. We are still in a war. Politics offers few answers and little hope. And then there's the church which pretends as if nothing is really wrong and holds to sameness, gripping its collective fear of change and moving ever so close to the cliff of no return.Five years ago this week I led a retreat for white collar workers in Denver. I asked the question, “How many of you are living with more fear in your life than at any other time?” Every hand was raised. Today, as I travel, speak and work one on one with leaders both in the market place and the ministry, fear is the predominate descriptor of emotion that most people I work with are expressing. Truly, we are living in a most sobering time--a season calling for deep searching and few answers. It doesn't matter if we are white collar or blue. Democrat or Republican-- American or African---we are quivering in our boots in an unparalleled season of floundering without breakthrough and endurance rather than hope.Allow me to be honest and transparent. All of this takes a tremendous toil on a small ministry where we seek to raise our support year after year to be a resource to leaders both in the business world and ministry sphere who themselves are struggling. I have my own questions. Can we survive? Will we make it? Is there something--anything I can possibly do that would help?We are in “it” together. We are waiting for a better time. We are hoping to turn the corner to a time when so much struggling, work and effort to stay alive, sustain our lives and experience a fulfillment of a dream, a hope and a vision.Friends, this is precisely what “ADVENT” is all about. Advent is a season of expectant waiting for something to happen that will turn the table and improve our most desperate situation. Most followers of Jesus wrongly assume that being saved is a once in a life-time event. But life teaches us that we need to be saved from MORE than just our sins. We need to be saved from despair. We need to be saved from coming unglued. We need to be saved from merely surviving to experiencing a robust sanity in life.The coming four weeks of Advent are weeks to move away from the commercialization and sick emphasis on materialism as the answer to our dilemma. Advent is the intentional waiting on God to show up and do something about our sick condition. Many followers of Jesus are unaware of the practice of Advent. We’re throw the baby of this important season out with the water to be relevant and “seeker friendly.” In doing so, we have found ourselves more caught up than ever before in Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Depressing December year-ends. 
Returning to Advent is the beginning of a new way to look at life. Take each week and simply light a candle each Sunday marking the long, awaited wait for the Day that God will finally appear. Each week, watch your mantel, coffee table or dining table grow brighter and brighter with light. Isn’t that what we want—more light; more hope; more progress. The candles of Advent literally show us the way forward through the long, dismal season of darkness. Here’s a link to one of the best resources I am aware of that helps us embrace not scorn this important season: http://www.adventconspiracy.org/If you find yourself nodding your head in agreement to what I have written here, you are not alone. Read my opening sentence again. Many of us are struggling. Advent is an important part of the answer. Let me encourage you to consider the practice of having a small advent wreath in your home or use an Advent calendar—perhaps even before you decorate a Christmas Tree. I believe movement in a spiritual direction will help. The Bible simply says, “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.”This season, make daily efforts to mark this season different from other ones. Be with friends. Choose to attend services where Advent is practiced and learn something. Perhaps, it’s not about finding a new church but finding a new way to worship God this season. Choose to live Advent and turn the despair from disillusionment to hope. Hope in God to turn our ways to His ways.Here’s my prayer everyday in this season of Advent waiting:“Lord, Help me to receive what you give, release what you take, lack what you withhold, do what you require and be who you desire.”