What is the one word, you want to lean into for the New Year? What is one, single word that you want to grow into for the New Year?
Here’s mine:
e·qua·nim·i·ty
/ˌekwəˈnimədē/
noun: equanimity
mental calmness, composure,
and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.
How would you like equanimity to be the one word that might best describe you in 2021? As we all recall, much got stirred up in our good old world through politics, the pandemic, racial tensions, economic instability and of course, all that happened to each one of us personally. It’s been a difficult year. But given all that happened, is there one, single word that you’re sensing you really want to be the one word that will mark your New Year ahead?
I’m hearing more and more of fractured relationships because of what was said, posted or experienced in all the tensions we all navigated this past year.
So, while the word equanimity might not be in your vernacular vocabulary, perhaps it should be. I want it to be my “word” for the New Year.
I want to be a person marked by equanimity. I want to experience a life characterized by equanimity. Simply put: I want more peace. With this in mind, allow me to flesh this out a bit more below.
To be a person marked by equanimity, we will need to let go of some things in order to grasp hold of other growth areas. Those who are marked by intense drama; those of us who cycle and vacillate between highs and lows in any given day; those of us who carry around bag fulls of inner dissonance and never quite know what to do with all our armloads of feelings; and often feelings of melancholy that make us feel like something is “missing” and life is more about lack than abundance. If these describe you, you may find that the invitation to grow in mental calmness and emotional composure is just what you both want and need.
Here are some ideas to consider which will help cultivate this evenness of the moods of the day.
When you are triggered by a person, social media post, news blurb, or conversation with someone, take note of what is happening in you as you feel yourself getting triggered. Document it so you don’t forget. If you keep a journal, make a space each day for “What triggered me today?” Becoming aware of the triggers is the key to finding how triggers are linked to the threads that run deep into our inner world. Look at this list weekly and note any patterns, correlations, or insights you have. Do a weekly review or inventory of your triggers and see what insights this can offer you.
Look for a connection in your triggers with this question: How is getting triggered tied to the feeling of being hijacked emotionally? In other words, what do triggers cost you at the precise moment you’re feeling the trigger? I recently read a social media post from a woman who is an author and preacher. In the post, she posted the link for people to hear her sermon. But she also posted the link where people could buy the dress she preached in to give the sermon. I was triggered when I read this and still can’t forget this: how I felt when I read it; what this post did to me internally; how I quickly judged, critiqued, and condemned her for the post. I sort of obsessed with how I’d write her an email telling her how big she had blown it. It took a lot of time. It took from me a lot of energy. It took from me a lot of compassion for her because up until that post, I actually thought I liked the person. My homework was to sit deeply in this feelings and razor cut my way through my knotted feelings until clarity came.
Practice gratitude every time you are triggered; every time you spiral, and every time you start obsessing over a trigger event. Gratitude is the key which will unlock dark feelings for expressions of light and grace. Always move towards gratitude. The Daily Examen is the single best practice that I am aware of that helps you raise your awareness of feelings of desolation and consolation. Always move towards consolation. This is the pivot moment to help anyone who spirals and needs to find hand holds in the spiral from descending even lower.
Do something physical. Talk a walk. Take a bike ride. Run. Jog. Practice yoga. Do Pilates…. “do“ anything to incorporate your body which holds all of these emotions and allows us to build new muscle memory towards the good; gracious and healing. As you move, imagine these feelings moving out of you. Like a physical detoxing of your body and mind.
Share the feeling. It always helps to just get something out. Once a feeling is expressed then it’s like half of the energy driving the feeling is dissipated if it’s heavy or dark but also doubled if it’s joy and good. Why? Because a burden shared is half of a burden! Find a safe person and ask them if you could talk once a week with them for 15 minutes about your growing awareness of your inner world.
So, if you don’t want or need equanimity in your life; if it’s not the word you want to camp out with in the New Year, then what one word DO you want to choose to grow into in the New Year?
Use “The Great Annual Examen” to help you review your past year and ponder your new year ahead. DOWNLOAD
Use “The State of My Soul Wheel” as a way to help you identify and grow in awareness as to how you’re really doing in your soul. LEARN MORE