My problem with our sabbatical being over is that I’m not ready for it to be over. Things have not jelled. I need more time to process some things. I’ve not read all I want to read. I’ve not had the time (believe it or not) to think about some things and get them in concrete. I wish we would have taken longer. Perhaps I needed two more months for things to jell in my soul.John Climacus wrote in the 7th century, “A snake can shed its old skin only if it crawls into a tight hole.” Sabbatical has given me a tight hole in which I've been able to shed some things, find some things and experience some things. It's been rich and rewarding. But here's the deal: I still have old skin on me and in me. Despite my best efforts and intents, I want to come out of this sabbatical time: clean, new and different.With just a few days remaining on Sabbatical, I now know I’m going to walk with a limp. I’m going to still struggle. I’m going to disappoint many of you and my family cause one would think: You should be different given this time!Illusions of being different are born in the waters of baptism. We long to be more than we are. We want to become different than how we see ourselves. We think it's a whole new world when we start out on the spiritual journey. But on the journey we find we carry with us a lot of stuff in our suitcases that never seems to get unpacked and cleaned out. Call it snake skin, graveclothes, habits or addictions--there are some things that just seem like we struggle with--perhaps till we die. Sabbatical has been a time of stripping down my own suitcase and throwing off and away that which simply does not work anymore. Carrying baggage can be so tiring. I’ve found not much dies in those waters of baptism. Demons breathe underwater despite our best efforts to get rid of them. That’s how I feel about re-entry. Not all my demons have died--despite my best efforts to drown them.I’m 60 years old for crying out loud. I thought I’d be done with some stuff by now. Will I still wrestle with the demons of drivenness; performance and pleasing others? Would I not really be better off by doing this…or doing that?One of my grandchildren is almost ready to be potty trained. Being potty trained is all the talk now when we Skype. I can understand my grandson's dilemma. Something has just got to give and change. I’m “almost” ready for a new phase of life myself but somehow when I look down, I feel all messy. It’s not clean. I need someone to help me.Before we even started our sabbatical, we scheduled a re-entry retreat. It begins tonight. So, I'll be able to have some great conversations with a sage like saint whom I've grown to trust. This person, in so many ways is my pastor, my soul friend, my companion but just a head of me a bit--or a lot--depending on what day it is.So, this week, we are leaning into the wisdom of my spiritual director (someone older, wiser and more potty trained than I am). We begin this final act of transition. I want to explore what is for me in my sabbatical and what is for our team. What is for my family. What needs to remain private. Who knows, maybe after my third day with my spiritual director I will have shed my old skin once and for all.
The Need for Solace in Today's Wired World
One of the downfalls of all of our technological progress in the 21st century is this: we have forgotten and neglected the role of nature in the care of the soul. When we work in cube-ville under false lights; when we become so dependent on our iphones and iclouds for information; when our busy lives make going outside a luxury rather than a necessity, we have forgotten what the human soul really needs to thrive and experience resilience. In our forgetting this truth, we put our souls in danger.Sadly counseling, therapy and analysis in many arenas and rooms have down-played, if not minimized and neglected how healing creation is. I’m so glad to help develop a proper place of creation in the care of the soul that actually partners with God in what I would call Divine Therapy. In our work with people, we partner with God through nature, not as an after-thought but core and central to everyone's health and vitality. Every time we pause to walk outside, watch a sunrise or listen to a bird sing, something larger than we can ever really comprehend is happening inside of us. The feedback and results in our work have altered the way we work and given us great fodder to the fire in our understanding of how to practice the care of the soul.Sabbatical, however, was our own time to focus on our care and our much needed resurrection. We needed to practice what we preached and we did just that.John Muir wrote, “I went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found was really going in.” Jesus knew what Muir was attempting to say very well. Most of his teachings, insights and parables were rooted in the teaching points of dirt, seed, animals and landscapes. He used the outside world to reveal the interior makeup of a person’s inner world. When we forget, ignore and disregard this spiritual truth and reality, we then confine ourselves into counseling rooms with closed doors; auditoriums more wired than inspiring and wisdom that his more horizontal than transcendent.Made from clay, the soul requires a clay-like experience to keep us grounded and from thinking too much of ourselves. I’ve never felt more small than when hiking in the Colorado mountains or on the shore of a beach and a powerful lighting storms hits. Stars, lightning and storms seems to put everything into perspective. Nature is a tool to help us become small and humble. This seems to work every time we view a vista, stare at waves or feel the force of a changing tide.One of the greatest mistakes of modern churches is to close up their windows to make room for darkened auditoriums where lights and Powerpoint have center stage. In my understanding of the care of the soul, one of the tremendous weaknesses and inefficiencies of counseling and psychotherapy is this: it all takes place indoors. To care for the soul is to understand that the soul needs to soak in the healing power of sunshine; the cleansing effect of rain, the calming sensation of beauty and power of nature on the outside to reveal what is going on in the inside.
This distinguishing hallmark of soul care is so needed in our wired world we are attempting to navigate. Without putting ourselves outside, we are left to ourselves and that limiting and dangerous.While on sabbatical, I made a promise to be outside more than I had been able to in the past year. We sought the solace of fierce landscapes and it made all the difference in us and to us. Because our own need was so great, this past year we moved further out, away from a town and city to continue our own life and work. As I have grown older and perhaps more tired, I needed the balm of God’s love that comes to me through nature.In the first days and weeks of our Sabbatical, I was de-toxing from work, busyness and calendars. I decided to unplug from my wired world by going dark on all forms of social media and email communication. These were necessary steps to help me find my equilibrium which the dizziness of work can cause. I had to work through my fears of unplugging and my need to be needed. I had to withdraw from what was going on around me so that I could find out what was going on inside me. We went to a barrier island for a month; the red rocks of Sedona, Arizona and the pristine peaks of Colorado and we needed each landscape and each perspective we experienced.The care of the soul is more than therapy in that in soul care, one partners with God in and through nature to find restoration and wholeness. Fractured by our busyness, we can and should seek the sacred balm of nature for our well-being. I think it is toxic to be too wired; too "on" and too 24/7. When I choose to go into nature, I honestly believe, I am choosing life--with every step I take. I can feel myself coming back.I believe I am choosing life over death. In my work with busy people, I see this happen to them as well.I have had some time in sabbatical to sit with the lyrics of some of Christendom’s finest songs which use the images of nature to help us understand the world around us and the world within us.As I felt myself coming back to life—to experience a resurrection like that of Lazarus, I turned often to hymns to help me say what I could not find words to say. Here , I simply want to invite you to read the lyrics of but some of these great attempts to articulate the World we live in. By reminding myself of these insights, I found permission to be more out than in. It helped me and I trust by recounting these hymns, you, too will find yourself being ministered to in the upcoming season of enjoying more and more the great outdoors. I’ve added my own note in italics. Perhaps use this slowly and throughout your upcoming time off. Use one of these a day or week and see where this might take you in your soul care:Fairest, Lord JesusFair are the meadows, fairer still the woodlands,Robed in the blooming garb of spring;Jesus is fairer, Jesus is purer,Who makes the woeful heart to sing.Fair is the sunshine,Fairer still the moonlight,And all the twinkling starry host;Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purerThan all the angels heaven can boast.Note how the author uses the images of nature to help us understand the Sacred Splendor.How Great Thou Art (Stuart K. Hine)O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonderConsider all the worlds Thy hands have madeI see the stars, I hear the rolling thunderThy power throughout the universe displayed.RefrainThen sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art!Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee;How great Thou art, how great Thou art!Second StanzaWhen through the woods and forest glades I wanderAnd hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees,When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze.Then sings my soul….In this familiar hymn, the author uses beautiful images of creation to help us understand God’s greatness and majesty.Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee (Henry Van Dyke)All Thy works with joy surround Thee, Earth and heaven reflect Thy rays,Stars and angels sing around Thee, Center of unbroken praise.Field and forest, vale and mountain, Flowery meadow, flashing sea,Chanting bird and flowing fountain, Call us to rejoice in Thee.Here we see that nature is a sacred invitation to praise and worship.This is My Father’s WorldThis is my Father’s world, and to my listening earsAll nature sings, and round me rings The music of the spheres.This is my Father’s world; I rest me in the thoughtOf rocks and trees, of skies and seas, His hand the wonders wrought.This is my Father’s world, The birds their carols raise,The morning light, the lily white, Declare their Maker’s praise.This is my Father’s world; He shines in all that’s fair;In the rustling grass I hear Him pass, He speaks to me everywhere.The solace of God’s creation is an agent of rest and peace.I Sing The Mighty Power Of God (Isaac Watts)I sing the mighty power of God, That made the mountains rise;That spread the flowing seas abroad, and built the lofty skies.I sing the wisdom that ordained The sun to rule the day;The moon shines full at His command, And all the stars obey.I sing the goodness of the Lord, That filled the earth with food;He formed the creatures with His word, And then pronounced them good.Lord, how Thy wonders are displayed, Wherever I turn my eye;If I survey the ground I tread, Or gaze upon the sky!There’s not a plant or flower below, But makes Thy glories known;And clouds arise, and tempests blow, By order from the throne.While all that borrows life from Thee Is ever in Thy care,And everywhere that man can be, Thou, God, art present there.Nature here is a tool that helps construct a theology that is true. Every plant and flower is a tool we can use that helps us know and experience God.Morning Has Broken (Traditional Gaelic melody, Text by Eleanor Farjeon)(Note that all other verses have the theme of creation as aide to praise)Morning has broken Like the first morning,Blackbird has spoken Like the first bird.Praise for the singing! Praise for the morning!Praise for them springing Fresh from the Word!In this lovely hymn we are reminded that all of creation has it’s genesis in God—and his Word.All Creatures Of Our God And King (Francis of Assisi)(Note that all five verses have specific reference to creation as aide to praise)All creatures of our God and King, Lift up your voice and with us singAlleluia, Alleluia!Thou burning sun with golden beam, Thou silver moon with softer gleam,O praise Him, O praise Him, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia!Writers from all generations have attempted to find words to describe the Indescribable.What is your own experience with finding the solace of fierce landscapes?
Planting a Tree: A Ritual for Life
To mark a special day for our grandson's life, we had a small back yard dedication of Caleb's life. A few friends and family gathered in Blake and Katie's backyard in Fayettville, NC. I gathered some soil from their yard and I shared that we will plant a tree for Caleb at Potter's Inn at Aspen Ridge in Divide, CO. Blake's career will see him move many times in the future and having a permanent place for Caleb's tree to be planted seemed logical to have it at the retreat.So in the midst of the furry of life, we will go and plant an evergreen tree--a symbol of life--a symbol for Caleb to come and find shade in one day as both he and the tree grow and mature.Trees, in the Bible are the symbol for life. Psalm 1 describes the life of a godly man as a tree that flourishes in various seasons. I like that word for Caleb and I like the meaning for all of us. The Psalmist said:He is like a treeplanted by streams of waterthat yields its fruit in its season,and its leaf does not wither.In all that he does, he prospers.(Psalm 1:3 ESV)We're all moving so very fast. We need to sit in the shadow of a tree and take note. Caleb will survive many seasons in his life. Some he will thrive in; some he will endure but all he will witness and experience. When someone comes and sees this tree or perhaps any tree, we can pause and ask:Did someone plant this tree?How old is the tree?What history has this tree witnessed? Caleb's tree will soon be planted in a hole I will will dig. I will pour the rich earth from North Carolina into the crusted granite from Colorado and I will tend it. Every living thing needs care. Caleb's tree needs care. It will need water. It will need tending to--just as Caleb's life will. I can envision one day, Caleb playing near this tree. Perhaps climbing it for a fantastic view it will offer among the branches which will become the stair steps up towards heaven. Caleb's tree will give shade to those who come to see it. One day he and I may picnic under it's branches. One day he may sit and ponder his own life. One day he may take his wife to this tree that was planted for his honor. The tree will ground and anchor his life with meaning. His tree will become our tree to enjoy and to witness the growth and changes through the seasons.So, this week, I will dig the hole; buy the tree and plant it in the soil from North Carolina!
Letters to My Children Chiefly on: Life
The Bond of MarriagePeople talk about a bond in marriage. There is one. It is invisible but it is there. The preacher in Ecclesiastes describes it this way:It's better to have a partner than go it alone.Share the work, share the wealth.And if one falls down, the other helps,But if there's no one to help, tough!Two in a bed warm each other.Alone, you shiver all night.By yourself you're unprotected.With a friend you can face the worst. (Ecc. 4:9-12 MSG)The writer speaks of the "wealth" in marriage and what I can tell you is: there is great wealth in a good marriage. It is enough to have a good marriage and live in a small house and drive average cars. The wealth of your marriage will sustain you when houses and cars fall apart. He tells us "with a friend, you can face the worst." I like that a lot. The wealth in marriage will get your through the worst and it's important that the worst happens--even in the best of marriages. Marriages are strengthens by going through the worst, not around it.Marriage is about being a companion. The word "companion" means in French a 'beggar of bread." In marriage you will find yourselves begging for a lot of things: health when one of you is sick; comfort when one of you is in pain; satisfaction when one of you is discontent and joy when sadness grips your heart. It's better to beg for the bread of life together than to go it alone. This passage more than others in the Bible paints the truest picture of marriage that I know. I wanted you to know about it.The bond of marriage is the making of one story out of two stories. Alone, all you have is your story. But in marriage, it's not just your story that matters anymore. When you marry, you relinquish having an individual story. You begin in a new way. It's now, "our story." The man brings his own plot and drama and the woman brings hers. Both stories unfold in a new way. Marriage is all about knowing your partner's story inside and out. It's about sharing now in new scenes; new drama that will certainly unfold and blending the past into the present which will yield into the future.; being found; being discovered and being known so deeply that it takes your breath away.You will be more in love in your fifth year than you are in your first week. Your love in the 20th year will in no way resemble the love in your second year. It will get better with time as you work to build your relationship and never coast in it. At least you should be. I say that because the more time you share; the more stories you live together the more you will discover depths and strengths in your spouse that you never knew before. Time has away of testing these bonds and so does the drama of life. Let me be clear, your marriage will not get better unless you work at your marriage to be better. This needs to be the goal hold by both of you. I've found there is no 50/50 in marriage. Sometimes, I've had to go 80% and more and so has Mom. Rarely do we ever go half way together and it works. We're both strong, gifted, spirited and soulful and this requires compromise, negotiating and forgiveness.The glue to your bond will be this: understanding your need to forgive and be forgiven. You will find in your marriage that you will hurt and be hurt. You will disappoint and be disappointed in. The salve of forgiveness should be applied often and thick--without reserve. Anger drives wedges into the space between you. Hidden issues that you are not aware of are at work causing pressure and the pressure will build till one of you blows your stack. Be quick to forgive. Try to make it a rule to never go to bed angry. If you live with that rule, then you'll have alot of late nights to resolve the tension. But the marriage bed is no place for the tension that can arise. Deal with that in the den and keep the bedroom safe for openness, vulnerability and mutuality.Through the years, you'll find that particular issues will always seem to surface. I don't know what yours will be but ours are predictable and both Mom and I know the tender spaces and thin places that if we go there--we should only proceed with great caution, tremendous care and undeniable unconditional love. To go there in anger is to make more danger than you can possibly imagine.Always choose your spouse over your children. I've seen hundreds make the mistake of loving their children more than their spouse and it's regrettable when this happens. The marriage love is the most supreme, highest and most sacred bond on earth. The Bible says it is so and Jesus re-emphasized it in his teachings. So, keeping it first and the priority will help you as parents when your children try to divide you and split you--first in decision making and then later in competing priorities.Hopefully, you'll age well together. The smooth skin will become wrinkled and it's in the wrinkles and folds that make the deepest places for love to hold you. What will be incredible is this: as you age and change your love will grow and expand for all the changes and ways you will change. Don't resist the change because your marriage will grow and the love will expand.When you choose your spouse, you are choosing them for life--not a season.There will be nothing better for your own soul that to find and develop life long companion. This doesn't just happens. It means dying to yourself. Dying to your illusions about life and marriage and living in the truth with lots and lots of grace and then more grace when you have run out of grace--there will be more. There will be. Your marriage is a story that will have many plots and characters that come and go but central of all are the two of you. No one else should come in an be shared in your marriage. Marriage is for two not three.