The Life and Death of Marriage

We are about ready to lead 85 couples into the greatest mystery of life and that is the relationship between a man and woman in marriage.  Marriage is a sacred tool used by God to revolutionize the human heart--the heart of two people who join together in marriage.  There are issues for the single person to work through, but the issues of marriage brings to single souls together and in the mystery of the journey, the two become one.Tonight, we will give a talk focusing on this theme:  Closing the Gap. In every marriage gaps form which widen and separate the two thirsty souls and there are no exceptions. I'm going to outline five forces which seem determined to push couples apart rather than bring them together. The five I will explore are:

  1. The busyness of life and the residual affect on marriages.
  2. The unresolved issues of the past. Every person in the marriage brings dirty laundry to the marriage and when the baggage is big, the problems are bigger!
  3. A common but profound mis-understanding about what authentic intimacy is and looks like. True intimacy is defined this way: INTO-ME-See. And because of our fear of letting this happen. We live isolated, disconnected and alone in the marriage.
  4. The fact that most couples live out their marriage only with a horizontal understanding of each other and void of a vertical one. Marriage is sacred and their is no secular space within any marriage.
  5. Our tendency in marriage is to forget that the human heart has four chambers and all four chambers need to be opened in marriage. The fourth chamber is where the secrets of the past, the lies of the present and the longings of the future reside. As my mentor poet, Mary Oliver has told us, "The Heart has many dungeons. Bring the light. Bring the light!"  How  we need the light of Jesus to help a marriage really function the way that God intended.

We'd appreciate the prayers of our all of our readers and friends as we lead these 85 couples into the great mystery of their relationships and as we descend into the fourth chamber of the husband's heart and the wife's soul.It's an noble task we're about to undertake and it's not an easy assignment at all!We are in Baltimore, MD at Central Presbyterian Church.